My Sleeves Are Stained Red
by musikmonkie
Summary: We all have secrets.  Sometimes, those secrets can be dangerous when they catch up to us. And they always catch up.  AU FredxOC DracoxOC
1. Chapter 1

**My Sleeves Are Stained Red**

**Author's Note: My sister and I actually came up with this story and we never intended to write it down, but I got the sudden urge to put it to paper and voila! This is born. I'm pretty sure I'll cover basic information within the story, but just to get everyone on the same page: Natalie is Draco's cousin, her parentage is unclear just know that they are dead and custody has fallen to Lucius; Natalie and Nicole have been friends with Fred and George since the girl's first year; both girls are in the same year as Harry….yeah, I think that gets you up to speed. ^^**

**Prologue**

Everyone has secrets. At least they like to think they do. There is always a small part of ourselves that we would like to believe no one else knows about and that we keep locked up for fear of what people will think of us. Like the secret that Ron keeps hidden under his mattress in the boys' dormitory, or the stash of kitty treats the Fred leaves open because he knows Scabbers will get into it and Crookshanks will discover a more tasty treat than stale cookies, or the crush Natalie has on Harry even though she's dating Fred. The truth is no one really has any secrets. There's always someone out there that knows that little juicy detail of your life that you'd rather keep hidden.

I think that fact is harder to swallow that any dirty little secret.

Especially when it comes to my secret. I didn't want anyone to know because I was sure that if they did know, even the people I called friends would turn their backs on me. For a long time, I got away with keeping my secret. I even thought I would take it to the grave with me, that is, until Harry returned from third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament with a dead Cedric Diggory and a declaration of the return of the Dark Lord. That summer the entire wizarding world changed. That summer _my_ life changed…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter One**

I was nervous as the Hogwarts Express pulled into the train station to deposit all the students for a summer of fun and excitement. Honestly, I don't think anyone felt very excited as we all prepared to step off the train. Cedric's death was still fresh and no one was quite sure what to think of Harry's story of events. I for one believed him and that made the aspect of summer frightening.

"You ok?" George Weasley muttered, sliding into the seat beside me after hauling his luggage down from the luggage rack.

I gave him a reassuring smile, hoping that it looked sincere, "I'm fine."

George nodded but didn't seem satisfied, "You've been quiet the whole trip."

"We've all been quiet," I pointed out, reaching to get my own luggage and silently pleading with him to drop the subject.

"That's true," George glanced over at his twin who had fallen asleep with his girlfriend and my best friend, Natalie asleep on his shoulder. "Do you think it's true? Do you think He really is back?"

I stopped fidgeting with my case and bit my lip. I didn't want it to be true. "Harry said he is. He wouldn't lie about something like that."

"That means everything is about to change," George whispered as he gazed out the window at the faces of family members gathered on the platform.

As the train gave a final sigh and the doors opened, I knew George was right. I also knew that he had no idea how right he was and what that meant for us all.

George nudged his twin awake who in turn gently prodded Natalie awake. Natalie was still yawning and sleepy eyed as we stepped off the train onto the platform.

"Geez, that was a fast trip," She declared after Fred and George said their goodbyes and headed toward the direction of their family.

I chuckled, "You slept the whole way."

With a shrug, she replied, "It's not like there was stimulating conversation going on to keep me awake." Her gaze swept the platform and her cousin, Draco Malfoy, joined us.

"He's not here yet," Draco stated, knowing that Natalie was looking for her uncle and Draco's father, Lucius. I smiled and did a little finger wave at Draco, trying to be polite, but he simply looked away. Natalie had always insisted that her cousin wasn't what he seemed to be, he only put on a front because he wanted attention from his father. I had never seen this better side of him, but I was always willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, after all, I wasn't one to judge a person with daddy issues. Heaven knew I had plenty of my own.

Without having to see the look on his face, Natalie gave her cousin a light shot to the arm, "Be nice, Draco. Say hi."

"What?" Draco frowned, rubbing his arm.

"Nicole waved. She's trying to be nice to you. I keep insisting to my friends that you're not a bad guy but you're not helping your case," Natalie was now on tip-toe scanning the crowd for her uncle. "Geez, he's always late. You'd think after four years he'd be able to get the time right."

With a sigh, Draco turned to face me, his blue eyes hesitant before they finally rose to meet mine, "Hi."

Even though I had passed Draco in the halls and classrooms, I had never talked to him. He mostly insulted Harry and the Weasleys, ignoring all the other Gryffindors. He always came off as arrogant and self-important but as I meet his gaze, I saw vulnerability and uncertainty. I saw someone I could relate to.

"Hi," I grinned, finding my usual spark of life flowing to the surface. "It's going to be some bombshell of a summer. Natalie told me you guys always have a good time, are you ready for it?"

Draco cocked an eyebrow, confused at my sudden enthusiasm, "I suppose."

I was about to reply when through the crowd, I saw my mother. Normally, I'd be excited to see her after so long away but even from a distance, I could see something was wrong. She was stiff, standing with her arms flat against her sides, her mouth a hard line and her eyes serious. My heart was suddenly racing in my chest and my throat went dry.

Turning back to Natalie and Draco, I tried to keep my smile warm and pleasant, but it was too late. Draco had seen my smile falter for that split second. He looked like he wanted to ask about it, but he kept silent.

"Well, there's my mum," I said, hoping my voice sounded happy and carefree.

Natalie glanced over at me, pausing in her search for her uncle, "Oh, well, I'll see you later, then. Are you going to come to the Burrow?"

Crap. I'd completely forgotten about the Burrow. We spent at least half the summer there every year, "I-I don't know. My mum might have plans for us, she's really been missing me, you know." I quickly collected my luggage and began walking away, desperate to get away before Natalie could ask any more questions. "See you guys."

"Bye," Natalie smiled and waved, nudging Draco with her elbow. He managed a curt nod all the while watching me curiously.

When I reached my mother she didn't say a word, just turned and led the way out of the station to a car waiting for us. My heart rate instantly jumped to warp speed. I didn't recognize the car and I couldn't see into the darkened windows but I didn't need to to know that whoever was in the car was going to suck all the fun out of my summer. My mother got in first, sliding into the back seat as a tall, bald man stepped out of nowhere to take my trunk and load it into the back of the car. Knees shaking, I took a deep breath before climbing onto the seat beside my mother.

There were two other people in the car. The driver was an older man, probably in his early fifties. His skin was wrinkled and worn like old leather and only a few strands of gray hair stuck out of his scalp. He kept his eyes forward and didn't say a word as we pulled into traffic. The other person was a woman seated in the passenger's seat. She had short black hair slicked back into a tight bun. Her eyes were cold and black as she turned in her seat to look at us. And when she spoke, her teeth were immaculate.

"The Dark Lord wishes you a very happy summer," Her voice was as cold and empty as her eyes, sending a chill down my spine. "He would have come personally to see you safely home, but extenuating circumstances prevented him from coming. He hopes you will understand." When neither of us spoke, she continued, "The Dark Lord also requests that you stay home this summer. He will be paying you a visit as soon as he is able and would be very disappointed if he missed you."

My heart was pounding so hard, I barely felt when my mother took my hand and squeezed it. We both knew that this was always a possibility. After Harry had defeated the Dark Lord, Dumbledore knew it was not over and had warned my mother. All these years later, here we were facing the cold hard truth that Dumbledore was right; the Dark Lord hadn't died and was now in a position to gain power again. I was starting to get annoyed with how often Dumbledore was right.

The rest of the trip home was silent. The two Death Eaters sat facing forward, not uttering a word or even glancing around. Finally, we pulled to the curb of our little house in Essex. Nether Death Eater moved as my mom and I scrambled out of the car. I pulled my luggage from the trunk and slammed the lid closed. We wasted no time in rushing across the lawn and diving into the house, both of us panting and hearts knocking out of our chests.

When I looked up at my mom, she had tears rolling down her cheeks, "I'm so sorry, Sweetie. This is all my fault."

"No, mum," I straightened and pulled her into a hug. "It's not your fault. We always knew this would happen sooner or later."

She wrapped her arms around me, "But I can't protect you. You're old enough now, he'll expect you to-" A sob caught in her throat and she hugged me tighter.

"Yes, but now that I'm older, I can take care of myself. I don't have to be what he wants me to be," I reassured.

"We need to talk to Dumbledore," My mom muttered; however, neither of us moved. We stood there, hugging each other until the fear subsided and we felt ready to take charge.

Just as my mom reached for the owl, my father waltzed through the door. He was dressed in his work uniform, a coverall with Merton's Electric embroidered on the breast pocket. He was six feet of sturdy German decent with an easy smile and soft blue eyes. He always came in with a smile on his face and a whistle on his lips. One look at my mother and I and he stopped mid-whistle, his smile turning to concern.

"What's wrong, Gloria?" His voice was deep and rich, also filled with concern.

My mom opened the window and let the owl fly off before turning to answer, "Bob, Nicole's father is back."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: This chapter is kind of short. It's more of a filler sort of thing before we launch into the big enchilada. Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter Two**

Bob isn't my biological father. That was one part of the secret I've always hoped I'd never have to share. He's the only father I've ever known and more of a father than my real father would ever be. But now that my real father was back, I had to face the ugly truth of the second half of my secret: my father was Tom Riddle. Lord Voldemort. The Dark Lord. Whatever you called him didn't change the fact that he was my biological father and now that he was back in the flesh, he'd want me to join him and fulfill the destiny he had laid out for me: to be his heir. My mother had told me years ago that Voldemort had once told her he'd found a way to make sure he never died, to insure he would be around to rule the world for a long long time but he still wanted a fall-back. A back-up plan to take up the mantle should anything stop him. He wanted a legacy. Thus, me.

Unfortunately, I didn't want to be like him.

…

Dumbledore wasted no time in replying to our owl. In fact, he replied in person, showing up at dinnertime with a haggard look to his face.

"How are you, my dear?" He asked my mother as she laid a place for him at the table.

My mother's lip quivered and she took a deep breath before replying, "I always knew this would happen."

"But that doesn't make it any easier," Dumbledore placed a hand on hers.

"Is there anything we can do?" Bob asked from his place at the head of the table. "I know I'm not like you guys, I don't have magical abilities, but I've raised Nicole and I'll do whatever I can to protect her."

"That's both brave and foolish, my Muggle friend," Dumbledore smiled warmly. "But I fear no matter what we do, the outcome may not be very good." My mother choked back a sob. "We know Voldemort is going to want Nicole to join him and learn the ways of the dark arts. If she refuses, he could easily have her killed. I, of course, will not let that happen, and I feel that he will only resort to that as a very last resort. Even if you refuse when he comes to see you, he will find ways to keep working at you, wearing you down until you agree to join him."

I shook my head resolutely, "I will not join him. No way."

Dumbledore nodded knowingly, "Voldemort didn't plan for you to be the way you are. You are nothing like him, my child. You have a bright spark to you and a thirst for life that he could never understand. You have such enthusiasm and cheer," He took my hand and looked earnestly into my eyes, "and I beg you to hold to that, no matter what. You must always remember who you are."

I nodded, knowing that before long, I might find myself neck deep in murky, dangerous waters.

"But what should we do?" My mother asked, her voice shaky.

Dumbledore glanced around at each of us, "I can put a protection spell on the house, but he will come and he will demand to talk to you. It is your choice if you talk to him. If you choose not to, just stay in the house; he can't get you in here, any of you."

"I'm supposed to go to the Weasley's. We always have a big hoorah during the summer," I said.

"If you go, you won't have the protection of the house," Dumbledore replied. "However, I think you would still be safe. Voldemort is not ready to make is presence widely known, he won't attack anyone out right. But still, if you go, you would have to warn them of the danger."

I suppressed a groan. That was one conversation I was not ready to have. _Hey, guys, my dad is really the Dark Lord and he might come to collect me and kill you all in the process. Is it still ok if I stay here?_ No thank you.

"Well," Dumbledore stood and placed his neatly folded napkin beside his plate, "I'm afraid I must be going. Lots to do."

"Thank you for coming," My mother showed him out and we all stood watching as he stood in the middle of the lawn and flicked his wand, muttering under his breath. After a moment, we all felt safer and he Disappearated.

"It's going to be ok," My father placed a comforting hand on my mother's shoulder. I wanted to believe him, but I knew I couldn't stay safe in the house forever. Eventually, I'd have to go to school, the train station, Diagon Alley. I wouldn't be able to avoid the Dark Lord forever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Three**

To say that summer was the most stressful time of my life was a severe understatement. I hardly left the house at all and when I did, I was constantly looking over my shoulder expecting my father to slide out of the shadows to drag me back into the darkness with him. Natalie, Fred and George had written numerous letters asking when I was going to join them and when I finally made up my mind on when I should let them know so they could send someone to pick me up. Problem was, I was on edge and I didn't want my friends to see me that way. I spent many restless nights fight off nightmares of my father and many tense days awaiting his visit. When the last week of summer vacation rolled around and I still had not seen a sign of my father, I didn't know if I should be relieved of worried. There was one night I woke from a particularly disturbing dream and thought I could feel my father near. I rushed to my bedroom window to find no one out there, but deep inside I knew he had been there, watching me, waiting for the time to make his move.

One morning, just days before the Hogwarts Express would whisk students back to school I was sitting at the kitchen table absentmindedly stirring Fruit Loops around the bowl with my spoon. It had been that night that I knew my father was near and I hadn't slept the rest of the night. My usually bright blue eyes were droopy and grey, my long dark hair a mess pulled back into an even messier pony tail. My mother came down, poured herself a cup of coffee and sat beside me at the table, concern clouding her face.

"Honey," She said softly, "You can't let him do this to you."

With a heavy sigh, I looked up and met her gaze, "What am I suppose to do, Mum?"

Taking my hand in hers, she set her mouth in determination, a look I knew I inherited from her though I hadn't mustered the ability to use it all summer, "You can fight him. Don't let him ruin your life like he ruined mine."

These words coming from her stirred inside me a determination to do just that: fight him. For her. For all the lives he had ruined. For all the innocent people that he used for his own gain. When he had decided to use my mother to produce an heir for his empire, he hadn't given her a choice. Now that he was back, I would not let him take the choice from me.

Sitting straighter in my chair, the spark returned to my eyes as I nodded resolutely.

A small smile tugged at the corners of my mother's mouth, "Now then, why don't you go get ready for a day at Diagon Alley? We have to get you ready for school."

…

Several hours later we stood in line at Flourish and Blotts loaded down with the years' books, my hair was combed and fell in a soft wave down my back with a few tendrils dusting across my forehead. I was dressed in jeans, a stretchy t-shirt and a light jacket that passed as fashionable in the Muggle world and in the Wizarding world. My eyes were bright and clear even though a hint of tired traced around the edges. The line was at a standstill as an elderly witch argued with the sales clerk over the price of a Gildory Lockhart book.

Suddenly, arms reached around me and pulled me back into crushing hug, pinning my book-laden arms to my chest. At first, I panicked, instantly thinking of my father and somehow he had found me and was now calling in his visit. But when the laughter filled my ears, I relaxed and let a smile break out on my face.

"Guess who?" The laughing voice came from behind me.

"George Weasley, you could scare a person spit-less sneaking up on them like that," I replied as the arms relaxed their grip and I turned to face my friend. He was several inches taller than me so I had to look up slightly to meet his gaze.

George's happy-go-lucky grin was infectious, "That's kind of the point."

Fred was close behind his twin, a grin also decorating his face, "Where have you been all summer, Nicky-Nick?"

I playfully punched his shoulder, "Avoiding you. Heaven knows I'll be stuck with you all year, I had to get a breather while I had the chance."

"Well, you missed one eventful-" Fred began only to have Natalie appear at his side and nudge him in the ribs.

"Not here, Fred, anyone could be listening. We'll tell her later, when it's safe," She whispered harshly. Her words caused us all to glance around the room suspiciously.

My mom was the last one to join the party as she came up beside me with a few more books to add to the pile, "Oh hello, kids. Did you have a good summer?"

Fred nodded enthusiastically as Natalie hugged my mom, "It's good to see you again, Mrs. Saunders."

"You, too, Natalie," My mom beamed. She had always had a fondness for my friends, which was good as most summers, if we weren't at the Burrow, Natalie and I camped out at my house so she wouldn't have to spend all summer with the Malfoys. Draco, she insisted, she could handle; it was her uncle that she wasn't so crazy about.

"I was surprised you never turned up on our doorstep this summer," My mom continued.

Natalie shrugged, "Yeah, I had to keep these two fools in line."

"Hey, now," George corrected, "There's only one fool here."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Fred asked, feigning indignation.

Finally, the line moved several feet and we all slid up.

"Have you all bought your books already?"My mom asked.

"Yep," George nodded before tossing an arm around my shoulders, "We were just passing by and we saw little Ms. Nicole standing in line and thought we'd pop in to say hi. After all, we hadn't seen her all summer."

My mom looked a little guilty and I quickly piped up, "I told you guys, I had some family things to go to. You know," I waved a hand to show it was nothing, "Muggle family reunions and things like that."

The line began moving quickly after that and soon we were all gathered outside the store, bags in hand, huddled to the side to avoid the steady stream of traffic bustling up and down the alley. Not far down, we could see a cluster of red heads outside the apothecary. My mother insisted I tag along with my friends and she would finish up the shopping, meeting back up in a few hours. I was about to protest, afraid that if I left her side, hoards of Death Eaters would converge on me or even go after her but Natalie looped her arm through mine and whisked me down the street. Fred and George were several paced ahead of us when Natalie slowed her pace.

"Hang on," She whispered.

"What?" I questioned, furrowing my brow in concern.

"I need to go somewhere and I know Fred won't like it. Come with me," She didn't wait for my answer, only pulled me back the way we had come.

"Natalie, where are we going? I don't think we should do this," I said, fear making my heart speed up.

Natalie didn't even break stride as she neared the end of the Alley, "Oh, don't be such a Hermione. I'm just going to pop into the Leaking Cauldron for a quick visit with my cousin. Things were tense at the house when I left and I just want to make sure he's doing ok."

"Draco?" I asked, "Why? What was going on?"

Pulling me up just short of the Leaky Cauldron, Natalie sighed, "Lucius and I got into a big fight over the Dark Lord a few weeks into vacation. He's wanted us - Draco and I - to, I don't know, declare our allegiance to the dark ways or something," She waved her hands dismissively. "When I refused, we went our usually round of snide comments and shouting."

"Doesn't this happen every summer?" I asked.

"Of course," Natalie fired back. "But this is the first summer that the Dark Lord has actually _been_ here."

"Oh," I dead-panned. I hadn't even thought of all the others the Dark Lord would be contacting to again build up his army. It only made sense that the Malfoy's would be high on his list of people to visit. Lucius had always been a supporter of the dark arts even if he had convinced many of his innocence during the last reign of the Dark Lord, but if Draco was anything that Natalie said he was – kind, in his own way, not as harsh or snide as he made himself out to be at school – then I too felt myself worrying for him.

"Yeah," Natalie said, "And even though Draco promised me he wouldn't do anything stupid, I'm afraid that his need to gain approval from Lucius might have overpowered that promise and he went and did something stupid. I'm just going to pop in here for a sec and talk to him. You can even wait here if you want and just warn me if you see Fred."

Before I could agree, Natalie disappeared into the pub leaving me alone on the street. With a sigh, I resigned to leaning casually against the wall and trying not to look like a dork as I waited for her to reappear. Being around Fred and George and surrounded by the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley had eased my worries so I was taken by surprise when a large, beefy man with deep set eyes and a bad overbite seized my arm and stuck a wand in my face.

"Don't scream," His deep voice was cold, sending shivers down my spine. "Just walk and you won't be killed.

I would have screamed anyway, but the sound was caught in my throat as the man turned me and pushed me down the Alley toward the narrow, darker streets of Knockturn Alley. His grip was tight around my arm, sending pain all the way down to my fingers. It was also the only thing keeping me up and moving. My heart was racing so fast, I feared it would suddenly give out and I would drop dead. My throat was dry and my hands clammy as we wound around the streets of Knockturn Alley. Wherever he was taking me, I knew what awaited me there: Voldemort.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Four**

When we finally stopped outside a grungy narrow house, I was so turned around I had doubts as to whether we were still in Knockturn Alley. One thing was sure, wherever we were it was definitely a bad part of town. The street was lifeless and dank, mold tracing lines up the wall of the surrounding buildings. The man leading me pushed me into the dark house. At first, I couldn't see anything, just feel the heavy blackness closing around me as the man pushed me roughly onward.

My eyes were just beginning to adjust when I tripped over stairs and jammed my knee hard into the cold marble. I stifled a cry as the man yanked me to my feet.

"Up the stairs," He barked.

I would have taken my time so as not to trip again but he placed a hand on my back and propelled me up the staircase where I almost tripped again when we reached the top.

"Straight ahead," He commanded.

At the end of the corridor, I could see light seeping underneath a door. As we drew closer, sweat broke out across my forehead. The man knocked once when we reached the door before pushing the door open and guiding me over the threshold. My eyes again had to take a minute to adjust to the sudden light of the room coming from a fireplace behind an old mahogany desk. There were shelves filled with books all around the room along with vials of magical herbs and potions. The ceiling was high and the floor cold hard marble. A large black snake was curled up in the middle of the floor, it's head drooping lazily but it's eyes keen and watching me.

From the chair behind the mahogany desk, I heard a chuckle that nearly knocked my knees out from under me. I could feel the malice all the way to my bones as I looked into the eyes of my father.

"Hello, my dear," He said. He looked more snake than human and where I knew he should have dark hair like mine, there was only pale skin. "I've wanted to visit all summer long but it seems there is a spell on your house. I haven't been able to even walk up the pathway to the door."

I would have stood there, frozen by fear if thoughts of my mother hadn't popped into my head. Before I could stop the words, they were out of mouth sounding a lot braver than I felt, "That could be because you're not welcome there."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed ever so slightly and he stood, walked slowly around the desk until he stood in the middle of the floor where now only the snake stood between us, "Now why would you go and say something like that? After all these years, we're finally reunited and you say something to hurt my feelings. Really, I would have thought your mother would teach you better manners than that."

Careful to step around the snake and not disturb the creature, Voldemort came to stand in front of me, his dark empty eyes locked on mine as he addressed the man that had dragged me here, "Leave us." The man wasted no time in fulfilling his master's command. When the door swung shut behind him, Voldemort reached out and caught my left arm. Before I could register what was happening, he had pulled back the sleeve of my jacket and placed his wand against my skin. I watched in horror as the Dark Mark spread itself over my skin.

"No," I whispered before jerking my arm desperately trying to break his hold and get away before the mark could form completely. As the black lines began forming the skull and snake a burning sensation radiated up my arm, intensifying until I cried out. "No!" I screeched, finally breaking from my father's grasp.

It was too late. A nasty smirk was plastered on his face as I looked down at the new addition to my skin. The burning was less intense now, the black marring my skin like a brand.

"You belong to me now," Voldemort's voice was a menacing whisper. "You will join me."

"Never!" I spat, drawing my wand and pointing it at him. "I'll never join you!"

"We'll see, my dear. We'll see," He kept his voice low with the smirk still in place. "My blood runs through you're veins. You have the same dark desires as I do and it's only a matter of time before you succumb to them."

I shook my head, not just in disagreement but also because a small part of me had always feared just that: that I would be just like him.

A jar set on the mantle of the fireplace caught my eye. Taking a deep breath and preparing to make my move, I met Voldemort's eye one last time. "I'll never be like you."

With that, I raised my wand and cried out, "Stupify!" Making a mad dash across the room, skirting the snake, I snatched the jar from the mantle and ripped the lid off. I would have been relieved to find that the jar really was full of floo powder if I wasn't so focused on just getting away. Tossing a handful of powder into the flames, I jumped in and called out for Diagon Alley.

As the sickening tug of the magic pulled at my insides and the floor fell away from under me, I knew that this escape hadn't been luck or skill. Voldemort had let me escape and it was almost a guarantee that the next time he came for me, I wouldn't be so lucky.

Almost as quickly as it had started, the pull of magic stopped and I landed hard on the stone floor of the Leaky Cauldron. Most of the time, Floo travel wasn't so bad and landing on your feet was easy; this time I was so shaky, it didn't take much to bring me to the floor. I was on my hands and knees, breathing hard when I heard my name.

"Nicole?" Natalie appeared at my side. She was the only one in the pub that had shown concern, after all, people popping out of the fireplace was a common occurrence in the wizarding world.

"Hey, Natalie," My voice was shaky but I managed to give her a weak smile.

"I thought you were outside keeping watch?" Natalie was now hands on hips with her expression saying a lot more than her words were. She wanted to know what had happened and how I had come to fall out of the fireplace.

Pulling myself to my feet, I wobbled a little, "I think I need to sit down."

With an impatient sigh, Natalie took my arm and carefully led me to a table near the back of the room where Draco was seated, apparently waiting for her to return. When she had me in the seat across from Draco, Natalie hurried off to get me a butterbeer.

I glanced across the table, giving Draco a weak smile while discretely tugging the sleeve of my jacket further down my arm to insure that the Mark was completely covered from sight.

"Are you alright?" Draco suddenly asked.

"Um," I was taken aback by his question, it was the most he'd ever said to me in some time. "I'll be fine."

He didn't seem satisfied with my answer and continued to pry, "You're usually bubblier and, I don't know, happy. It's almost strange to see you so quiet, first on the train, then now."

"You notice how I act?" I was shocked at Draco's comment. Sure, he didn't bully me like he did other Gryffindors but I had always attributed that to my friendship with his cousin.

His cheeks reddened slightly, "Well, you know, you're always around my cousin and these sorts of things just stand out sometimes. It's not a big deal."

We both feel silent and I felt a small smile tug at my lips. I glanced across at Draco, who was fixing his gaze firmly on his mug. His blond hair was neatly combed though a few strands were falling across his brow. He had a narrow face and blue eyes that, though they tried to be hard like his fathers, were actually soft and when he glanced up at Natalie when she returned to the table, they lit up and his smile was warm and sincere. In that moment, I caught a glimpse of the real Draco, the one that Natalie insisted we should all get to know. And I found that I did want to get to know him.

"So," Natalie slid the mug of butterbeer to me and turned her sharp gaze to me, indicating she wasn't going to take any nonsense, "What's going on?"

I took sip of my drink, scrambling to come up with a lie that would be even somewhat believable. "Well," I put my mug down and mentally cracked my knuckles, "I was standing outside, keeping watch just like you wanted."

Natalie nodded and gave me a stern look that told me to keep going. I slid a glance to Draco, who also seemed interested in what I had to say. More than that, he seemed concerned. The thought made my cheeks warm and I cleared my throat before continuing, "Well, I was standing there and this crazy old guy came up to me. He started talking about the end of the world and something about chickens," I waved my hand dismissively for effect. "Anyway, so he starts dragging me down the street, toward Knockturn Alley, saying that if we don't move fast, we'd all be dead. I tried to shake him off, but he was strong for a crazy old man. We got pretty far down the Alley before I wiggled out of his grasp but at that point, I was so turned around, I didn't know how to get back here. So, I went into the first shop I could find and asked to use their fireplace. They were kind enough to let me and you know the rest."

Natalie looked skeptical. Draco looked slightly amused.

"You're making that up," Natalie declared.

"No, I'm not," I shot back almost too quickly, nervously, I bit my lip. "I mean, who makes up stuff like that? It's way to insane."

"She's right," Draco agreed, "That is pretty insane."

Natalie continued to watch me, "Seriously?"

"Yeah!" I insisted.

Slowly, she nodded and I exhaled not realizing that I had been holding my breath in the first place. I guess I did inherit one useful skill from my father: lying. The thought would have been scary if I hadn't been so freaking relieved.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Five**

After the fiasco in Diagon Alley, I was extra careful, always looking around for dark wizards or any sign of Voldemort. Natalie hadn't asked any more questions as to what happened and Fred and George were none the wiser, believing that we had just gotten separated from them in the crowd. We all said goodbye and parted ways for the last few days of vacation before we would catch the Hogwarts Express and head off to the safety of the school.

The night before leaving, my mom knocked lightly on my bedroom door and let herself in. I had been packing a few last minute items but she ushered me over to the bed and sat me down, her hands holding tightly to mine.

"I want you to be careful this year," she began. "I know Dumbledore will keep an eye on you but I'm afraid you're father will try something. He's very clever and will not give up on you until you join him."

"I'll be ok, Mom. He can't get to me at Hogwarts," I reassured her.

She bit her lip, looking worried, "He might not but someone else could. He has followers all over the place. Just be cautious, ok?"

Her words worried me. She had a good point, Voldemort couldn't get to me but he'd had followers infiltrate the school before. Professor Quirrell in our first year; Ginny unknowingly in our second; even last year we had all thought Professor Moody was the real thing but turned out to be one of the Death Eaters. And here I was thinking I'd be able to relax at Hogwarts. But no, I'd have to be weary of everyone and keep my guard up. The one place I thought I would be safe from him wasn't safe after all.

...

The next day we arrived early at the train station and though when we got to the platform there weren't many other students wondering around, the train was already waiting. I wanted to get on the train and find a compartment before everyone showed up and took all the good seats so I said goodbye to my mom and dad before climbing onto one of the rear carts and selecting a compartment. When I had my trunk secure, I settled in to wait for my friends to find me. It wasn't long before I saw the Malfoys and Natalie appear on the platform. Lucius looked as pompous as ever with his wife stiff at his side and Draco following close behind with Natalie. I waved out the window and caught Natalie's eye. She waved enthusiastically and parted from her family with a halfhearted "good bye, see you next summer." As she walked toward the train, I could see Lucius shoot an expectant look toward Draco, who hesitated before calling after his cousin. Natalie stopped, looking confused as Draco caught up with her. I could see them exchange a few words before they disappeared, boarding the train. A few minutes later, the compartment door slid open and Natalie trooped in, Draco close behind her. Natalie plopped onto the seat opposite me while Draco closed the door and looked around the compartment, unsure.

"Well, sit down," Natalie prompted. Drake looking flustered sat down beside me. "Draco wants to hang out with us. I've been telling him he needs to break off from those friends of his and be his own person. He's finally listening to me." Natalie sounded proud of herself for finally getting to her cousin.

I glanced from Natalie to Draco and back, "Oh?"

Natalie grinned, "I keep telling you he's a good guy. Now, he wants to show you."

Draco nodded, still not comfortable with the situation, but didn't say anything. I wouldn't have minded him being there if I was so on edge from recent events. As it was, while part of me was glad Draco wanted to befriend us, another part of me thought it was suspicious.

I was about to ask why his sudden interest in turning over a new leaf when the compartment door slid open and Fred and George waltzed in. Fred slid in next to Natalie and wrapped an arm around her. George was about to sit next to me when he realized the seat was taken.

"Wha?" he straightened up and glared down at Draco, "What is he doin here?"

"Be nice to Draco," Natalie commanded, "He's not here to cause any trouble, he wants to hang out with us."

"That's all fine and dandy," George huffed, "But the bloke is in my seat."

"Who are you calling a bloke, Weasley?" Draco stood, his nose just inches from George's as the two glared at each other.

"If the shoe fits," George retorted.

"Stop it, you guys," I said, inserting myself between them. I had to push them apart, one hand on each of their chests and give them a stern look. "No fighting, ok? Draco's trying to make an effort to be nice to you, the least you could do is return the favor."

"Yeah, right," George mumbled.

Draco instantly moved to defend himself, "Hey! I wasn't the one that started throwing names around."

"But I'm sure you were thinking of a few choice words to throw out. Old habits die hard," George took a step forward and in the already cramped space of the compartment, I found myself sandwiched between the two.

"Stop!" I struggled to worm around to face George as he glared at Draco over my head. Both boys were a good head taller than me, so I wasn't much of a hindrance to their glare-match. "George, stop it!"

At this point, Natalie also stood, "Alright, Nicole, why don't you take Draco to get some snacks from the trolley. I'll have a good talking to with these two. Everyone just needs to calm down and take a breather."

Natalie shoved Draco towards the door and I followed. As I pushed the door closed, I could see Natalie, hands on hips, glaring at the twins. Draco had moved down the train, headed for the small balcony attached to the last car. I quickly followed, stepping out into the cool afternoon air as the country side zipped by.

"Sorry about them," I said, leaning on the railing next to Draco.

"It's alright," He said, turning to lean with his back to the country, hands shoved casually into his pockets. As I watched him, the sun in his hair, the calm, casual stance, no front put up to impress his friends, I found that I rather liked the sight. When I first met him our first year, he had been annoying and awkward like all eleven year olds but now, he had matured. He carried himself with a confidence and a strength that showed he was a great wizard even if he wasn't sure what to do with that confidence or strength. "I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked suddenly, "Why do you want to be nice to us all the sudden?"

He mulled over his answer for a moment and as he did, I saw a wide range of emotions play across his face. Well, not his face per se, more in his eyes while he kept his face calm and unreadable. Doubt, frustration, fear, even something that I thought might be a little bit of regret.

"I just," He began only to stop and sigh. He ran a hand through his hair as he struggled to find the words. When he finally did, he met my gaze, "I just want a chance to make things right."

"Ok," I was surprised to hear the word come out of my mouth. I could see in Draco's eyes that he wasn't be totally honest, that there was something he wasn't saying and I had a suspicion it had something to do with the look his father gave him at the station. But, I wanted to give him a chance. The same chance I hoped my friends would extend to me when they found out who my father really was. In that moment, I felt closer to Draco then I ever had to any of my friends.

"Ok?" He asked, unsure.

I smiled up at him and took his hand, leading him back into the train, "Ok."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter.

**Chapter Six**

When we got back to the compartment, Fred was talking animatedly to Natalie while George sat opposite, looking stony as Draco entered behind me. I sat down beside George and patted the seat beside me for Draco to sit.

"And then the gnome jumped from behind the bush and bit him right on the nose!" Fred was saying as Natalie burst into fits of laughter. George grinned but remained silent, his eyes still on Draco.

I glanced from Draco to Fred, wanting to ease us both into the conversation without upsetting anyone, "Who was that Fred?"

"Ron," Fred turned his infectious grin on me, "He was de-gnoming the garden."

Remembering previous summers at the burrow, I grinned as well. De-gnoming was always a hilarious fiasco. Turning to Draco, I asked, "Have you ever de-gnomed a garden?"

Slightly hesitant, Draco replied, "No, the house elf takes care of the yard. I've teased the gnomes before," at the memory, he smiled and glanced at Natalie, who apparently shared in the memory as her grin widened.

"It's great fun," I shifted in my chair to face him better and began explaining the process with animated gestures. "You have to snatch the little buggers up by the legs, swing them around your head a few times to get them nice and confused, then you launch them over the fence. The first few are easy but when they figure out what's going on, they get vicious."

"They sure do," Natalie piped in. "Remember that time George, one nipped you on the-"

Grinning George interrupted, "Now now, we don't need to get into detail about that experience."

"Wasn't that the same year that one gnome went crazy, waving a garden snake at anyone who got near him?" Fred laughed.

I couldn't suppress a shutter from rushing up my spine. I had been the one going after that gnome when he whipped around, snake held in his hand. At the time, snakes had been the one thing I was afraid of. I was still terrified of them, but they didn't measure up to the fear of my father.

My shudder didn't go unnoticed by the others. While Draco looked concerned, the others laughed.  
"Haven't forgotten have you, Nicky-nick?" Fred teased.

I tried to play it down by plastering a grin on my face, "How could I forget, I still have the scar where the snake got me."

"It bit you?" Draco asked, his lips struggling not to join in the laughter.

I nodded, rolling up my right sleeve to reveal two round scars close together just inches above my wrist. Part of the humor at the time had been that Fred and George knew I was afraid of snakes. I never let them see just how terrified I had been however, laughing it off shakily even though I had snakes haunt my dreams for months after.

I met Draco's eyes and for a brief moment I knew he could see the fear in my eyes that no longer had anything to do with the gnome several summers before. Thoughts of my father that had been haunting my dreams and my every waking moment came rushing to the forefront of my mind. I mentally shook myself and dropped my gaze, pushing my sleeve back down.

George laughed heartily, "I'll never forget you waving your arm about, the snake rattling around and the gnome laughing his ass off."

Just then the snack trolley rolled by and I, eager to forget the whole incident, jumped up. "Look, the trolley. Anyone want anything?" I didn't wait for a response before I was out the door and surrounded by several other students waiting to pick their treats off the trolley.

"Are you alright?" The soft voice in my ear made me jump and I turned to find Draco had followed me out into the corridor.

"I-I'm fine," I avoided his gaze by fusing with my hair, tucking a stray strand behind my ear.

"Are you sure?" Draco asked. He sounded genuinely concerned so I raised my eyes and met his gaze.

"I just don't like snakes," I confided. "I know it's a stupid fear; it was just a garden snake after all but it-" I stopped short, catching myself just before I had been about to admit they reminded me of my father.

Draco seemed slightly surprised by my response but pushed further, "I don't just mean about that just now. You seem," He hesitated before continuing, "Different. You look tired and there are moments when that spark in your eye fades and you look as if your mind is a million miles away. I'm not the only one that noticed, I've seen George watching you all day."

I was taken aback by how observant Draco was of me. It took me a moment to regain myself before I replied, "I'm fine, Draco. Just haven't slept well, which is understandable considering what happened a few months ago." I held his gaze as I lied, hating myself for how easy it was to lie to him, even if we weren't the closest of friends.

Again, I saw something flash in his eyes that looked like regret, even guilt but something over my shoulder caught his eye. His face turned blank and unreadable as I felt someone move up behind me.  
"Cornered a lone Gryffindor, have you, Draco?" Came a cold voice and I turned to find Marcus Flint flanked by several other Slytherins, including Draco's usual cronies, Crabbe and Goyle. The trolley lady had moved on; I could see the trail of students following her through to the next car.

Draco said nothing as several of the Slytherins chuckled, inching closer to close me in so they could further torment me. Pansy Parkinson extracted herself from the group and sneered down her nose at me.

"Saunders," She taunted, "Where are your little blood traitor friends? To ashamed of their crazy little hero Potter to show their faces? I read in the Prophet this morning that Potter should be locked up in St. Mango's, hear he's losing his head with all these delusions of the Dark Lord's return."

The other Slytherins laughed and made snide remarks as to the rumors of Harry being an attention seeker. I clenched my teeth and bit back a reply, ready to turn and return to the compartment when Pansy suddenly flicked her wand and a jet of purple light, a jinx no doubt, narrowly missed my left arm. I had my wand out ready to retaliate when two things happened: the compartment door flew open, allowing George, Fred and Natalie to join the already full corridor; and Draco stepped around me, his own wand out but at his side as he positioned himself between me and the other Slytherins.

It was Draco's action that made me pause and lower my wand. I was surprised by his actions and also flattered. The past few days, since the day in Diagon alley, I had thought of Draco often but I had no idea he had also felt something for me which now manifested in this protective gesture. I had barely processed the thought when George shot a jelly legs jinx that hit Crabbe in the gut. Several more wands flew out of pockets but Draco held up his hands, "Enough!"

The Slytherins all looked to him questioningly. With a quick glance back to me, he muttered, "They aren't worth the time. We'll be to Hogwarts soon, best get our robes on."

He pushed through the Slytherins, leading the way back down the corridor. Pansy shot me a dark glare before turning on her heel and running after Draco. Slowly, the other Slytherins followed until only Natalie, Fred, George and I were the only ones left in the corridor.

"So much for turning over a new leaf," George muttered to be met by an annoyed glare from Natalie.

As we returned to our compartment, Natalie shot back, "Well you can't expect him to make such a big adjustment over night. He still has to spend his whole year with them."

"Well I don't buy it, I think he's up to something," George crossed his arms and sat in a huff.

I refrained from comment, turning to look out the window at the now-dark country side sliding passed the train. The image of Draco stepping between me and his friends still fresh in my mind, I ignored my own unease about his desire to make friends with us.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter.**

**Chapter Seven**

After the first few days of the semester, I began to relax more than I had all summer. The familiarity of the school, the classes and homework filling my days, and the cheerful atmosphere of all the students again surrounded by friends quickly took the edge off that I had been feeling since June. My smile came easier and my laugh bubbled out of me more often. I was able to keep thoughts of my father away by immersing myself in the curriculum. Thoughts of Draco also filled my head when there was a moment to spare between homework assignments. I hadn't talked to him since the train, but I caught glimpses of him the corridors and at meal times. It was these times that I would steal at glance at him and find that he had been stealing glances at me as well. I would blush and quickly turn away, only to glance back a moment later, smiling to myself as he turned to his friends.

We finally had a class with the Slytherins on the fourth day back. Defense Against the Dark Arts with our new professor, Professor Umbridge. Everyone was excited for the class as they all wanted to know what the new teacher would be like. After her speech at the Welcoming Feast, we all had some idea of what it would be like, but none of the ideas came close to the real thing.

Natalie and I entered the classroom along with most of the other students, who found seats and began pulling out wands and books. Natalie glanced around the room, looking for empty seats when Draco and his gang entered. I watched as they filled in and took seats on the left side of the room, opposite the Gryffindors. As Draco dumped his bag on the desk and pulled out his chair to take his seat, he glanced up and our eyes met. A wide, friendly smile broke out across my face and before I realized what I was doing, I waved. For just a moment, I thought Draco would wave back, but Ron, sitting not far from where Natalie and I were standing, broke into the moment.

"Oy! Did you just wave at Malfoy?" He blurted out, causing several of the students to glance up at me.

Blushing, I quickly dropped my gaze to the floor and mumbled for Ron to mind his own business. Natalie was about to add her two cents when the door to the teacher's office opened and Professor Umbridge come out.

"Take your seats, students," Her high voice squeaked out. Natalie and I, being the only two standing, quickly dropped into the two nearest vacant seats and pulled out our wands and books. "You will not be needing your wands today, please put them away."

For a moment, everyone hesitated before wands were slipped back into bags and the lesson began. It was much the same as every DADA class was: the teacher was inadequate, we learned nothing, and when we couldn't take it anymore, Harry piped up and caused a ruckus.

As I sat there, listening to Harry and Umbridge argue, I couldn't help but rub my hand along my left arm. My robes hid the mark there from everyone else, but it couldn't hide it from me. I knew, just as Harry knew, that the Dark Lord had returned and was out there somewhere, building his army, gathering his followers, preparing to strike. As I thought of my father, of the impending war that would surely breakout, of all the innocent people that wouldn't see it coming, the mark on my arm grew warm. I didn't notice until it suddenly seared with pain. With a small gasp that no one except for Natalie heard, I clenched my fist and shoved my arm under the desk, waiting for the burning sensation to die down.

Natalie glanced over at me for a moment but said nothing as she focused her attention back on the arguing pair. The argument finally reached an end with Harry getting a weeks' worth of detentions and Umbridge turning her back to us with the command to read chapter one of our textbooks.

The rest of the lesson passed slow and silent, only the sound of a page turning now and again broke the silence. The searing pain in my arm lowered to an annoying throb that I was able to push to the back of my mind. When the bell finally rang, people sprang out of their chairs and out the door at warp speed. Natalie ran off quicker than anyone, to meet Fred for some between class snogging, no doubt, so I took my time gathering my books and returning them to my bag.

As I got up to leave, I found the room empty aside from myself and Draco, who stood off to the side of the door, watching me. When he saw I noticed him, he cleared his throat.

"Hi," He muttered awkwardly.

I smiled up at him as I skirted around the desks and stopped when I reached him, "Hi."

He seemed to relax a little and continued, "How are you liking the new semester so far?"

"It's good. It's nice to be back, focus on school rather than-" I stopped short, once again catching myself before I said too much. I would have to be careful, I silently chided myself. Even though I was a good liar when the occasion called for it, I was finding myself getting way too close to spilling the truth to Draco. "Anyway, how are you liking it?"

"Well enough," He replied with a shrug. "Though I'm not too sure I'm going to enjoy tonight's Astronomy lesson. There was a house elf carrying on in the Slytherin common room this morning. Woke everyone up; couldn't much sleep after."

I laughed, the image of Pansy Parkinson, baggy eyed, hair in curlers as a house elf wailed around the common room forming in my mind. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh."

A smile tugged at the corner of Draco's lips as he turned and held the door open. We walked down the corridor together, a smile still on my lips as Draco said, "It won't be too bad though, we have Astronomy together, don't we?"

Nodding, I ignored the group of second years that watched as we passed them, "Yeah, we do. I always look forward to that class; it's the one time I can actually go to the Astronomy Tower without the fear of being caught by Filch."

"What do you mean?" Draco cocked an eyebrow as we turned a corner and continued down another passage.

My eyes widened as I realized what I had just said. Blushing, I stuttered, "W-well, you know…I just…sometimes…"

"What?" Draco prodded, a knowing grin working at his lips. "Is the good little Gryffindor breaking rules? Don't tell me my cousin is being a bad influence on you."

I couldn't help but smile and relax under Draco's teasing that was for the first time not harsh or hurtful, but playful. With a big sigh, I glanced back down the corridor to make sure we were not being overheard and leaned closer to him as if sharing a secret with a co-conspirator, "Ok, but you promise not to tell anyone?"

He nodded seriously and I continued, "Some nights, I like to sneak up to the Astronomy Tower and sit, watching the stars. It helps me relax and clear my mind. When there's no one up there, no one to break the silence of the stars, just me and the cool night air, it's a kind of peace that you can't find anywhere else." I dropped my gaze but could feel Draco's eyes on me. We had stopped walking and now stood facing each other. Words came tumbling out of my mouth as I shared a piece of myself that only Natalie and George knew about, though they only knew part of it, "It's like another world, one where I can just _be_, without being weighted down by expectations or worries of what's to come. It's a place where you don't have to pretend."

The last words came out in a whisper. For a moment, silence hung between us until Draco lifted a hand to my chin and gently raised my head until our eyes met. He looked pained for a moment and I wondered if he was thinking of how he pretended with his dad and his friends. I wondered if he knew just how alike we were.

"Nicole," He finally breathed, "You don't need to pretend around me."

Before I could answer, a noise group of fourth years came striding down the corridor. Draco quickly dropped his hand, glaring at the group as they passed, oblivious to us. But now the moment was broken and I cleared my throat, "We should get down to dinner."

Draco looked like he wanted to say more, but only nodded and we continued on our way to the Great Hall. We didn't talk again until we reached the main staircase. As we descended, I blurted out, "Do you really want to be my friend, Draco? Like Natalie says?"

Taken aback, he looked momentarily puzzled before replying, "Yes."

"And you realize that as my friend, I will smile, wave, say hello, talk to you between classes and in all other ways expected of friends communicate with you?"

Again, he was puzzled, "Yes."

"Even if other Slytherins are around?" We came to a stop at the foot of the stairs and I turned to look up at him, serious.

After a brief pause, he nodded, "Yes."

I broke into a grin, "Good." With that, I turned and headed for the Great Hall where the voices of hundreds of students preparing to eat greeted me. Draco quickly caught up to me and we entered the Hall together. I could feel heads turning to watch as I grinned and waved to Draco before bounding over to the Gryffindor table. Whispers broke out around the room and as I reached my seat, Fred, George and Natalie were all giving me quizzical looks. Glancing across the Hall to the Slytherin table, I saw Draco taking his place in the center of his friends. Grinning to myself, I dug into the mashed potatoes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter.**

**Chapter Eight**

At eleven forty-five that night, Natalie, Harry, Hermione, Ron and I all made our way up to the Astronomy tower with the other fifth years. Natalie was rambling on about the latest scheme Fred and George were concocting while Harry and the others hurried on ahead. As I watched their backs hurry along, I wasn't surprised; none of them had spoken to me since dinner, though I caught Harry and Ron casting glances my way throughout the evening. Hermione had almost approached me, but hurried off when Fred and George joined us in the common room.

George hadn't been the least bit shy about asking what that was all about at dinner.

"It was nothing," I shrugged as I had pulled my Defense Against the Dark Arts book closer. "We're just friends, just like Natalie has wanted us to be all these years. Even Hermione is always insisting that we need to strengthen our bonds with other wizards."

George shot me a cross look, "She was talking about international wizards, not gits like Draco Malfoy."

"Hey!" Natalie had exclaimed as she playfully tossed a spare roll of parchment at George, "That's my cousin you're talking about."

"Even so," George had replied, his look dead serious, "I don't trust him." He had dropped his voice and leaned closer to me so only I could hear his next words, "Please, please, just be careful."

His words still echoed in my mind as I mounted the stairs leading up to the Tower. I had climbed these stairs nearly every night at the end of last year, worried about the return of my father. Surprisingly, I hadn't made the trip at all so far this year. I emerged onto the landing to find the Slytherins had already arrived and all the students were now waiting for the teacher. Natalie nodded to her cousin, who stood amongst his fellow Slytherins but didn't talk to him as Pansy Parkinson was making it very clear that she was talking to Draco. She stood with her hands on hips, her head bobbing with attitude and all the flirting techniques she knew pulled out on display.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I followed Natalie to a telescope on the far side of platform. As soon as we were out of ear shot of the others, Natalie turned to me, her eyes fierce for gossip, "So, what's really going on between you and Draco?"

"Nothing," I smiled as I looked away and began pulling out my star charts.

Natalie snorted, "Nothing, what a load of crap. George may buy into that, but I know you better than that. I see the way you practically devour him every time you look at him."

"I don't devour!" I interrupted, sounding as scandalized as possible even as she gave me a give-me-a-break look.

"Fine, consume, obsess over, fixate on, whatever, you still look like Tom Hanks after being stranded for days and given food again. Now I demand you give me the details as your best friend," she raised her chin in a defiant manner, as if that would force me to relinquish the scoop.

With a quick glance around us, I bit my lip and leaned in closer to her, "Alright, so we're friends now, like wave-in-the-hall, chat-during-class friends. The fact that I might, I said might, have a little crush on him doesn't mean anything. I'm just trying to be his friend, just like I'm George's friend, or your friend, or Ginny's friend."

Again, Natalie snorted but any comment she had remained silent as the one and only Draco slid up beside her. He smiled at me as he greeted, "Hello, cousin, Nicole."

"Hey, Draco," I smiled back, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear in a shamelessly flirty fashion.

Natalie didn't look so pleased, "We were having a girl talk."

"I didn't mean to interrupt," Draco apologized, "Just wanted you to know I'm serious about wanting to get to know your friends, Natalie; and what better time to do that then when we're waiting for the teacher to arrive."

"He does have a point, Natalie," I hurriedly agreed. Natalie shot me a skeptical look before turning back to her cousin.

"Fine," She sighed, "I need to go talk to Neville about getting some help in Herbology anyway. I'll be back in a second."

As she walked away, I caught a glimpse of Pansy glaring over at us. George may be worried about what Malfoy was up to, but I found that my only concern was what she was going to do; I was, after all, encroaching on her territory.

My fears of Pansy turning on me were confirmed at the end of the lesson as we made our way down the ladder. When Natalie and I reached the bottom, we found Pansy blocking our way, the other Slytherins gone.

"What do you think you're playing at, Saunders?" Pansy sneered, getting up in my face. Her eyes were cold and angry as they burrowed into mine.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I retorted, more to make her even more mad than just to play dumb.

It worked as Pansy clenched her teeth and pushed me back to the wall. Natalie grabbed at her robes to pull her away, but she easily threw her off. Neville, who was descending the ladder, accidently bumped into Natalie and they both sprawled to the ground. With a vicious chuckle, Pansy turned back to me, her grip on the front of my robes tightening as she pushed me harder against the wall.

The cold, rough bricks prickled against my back as she seethed, "I'm talking about Draco. He's mine, got it? You better back off or you'll regret it."

I could feel anger boiling up inside me. Who did she think she was, telling me what I could or couldn't do? She was nothing compared to me. My heart began racing as I felt the anger rise in me. In as even a voice as I could muster, I replied, "It's not my fault I'm prettier than you, Parkinson, though I will congratulate Draco on his excellent taste in women."

It wasn't the smartest thing to say with her breathing in my face, shoved up against the wall, but I couldn't help myself. The anger I felt inside me was so strong, I wanted nothing more than to get to my wand and curse her. A few choice ones popped into my head but in a split second, the anger was replaced with horror; horror at the realization that one of the curses was very much illegal. I knew she would attack me for the comment but I wasn't expecting it to be from her fist, not her wand. All the same, I was grateful for it. She reared back her left hand and knocked me right cheek. It wasn't her dominate hand so it could have been worse, but it was still enough to cause my head to snap back and pain to erupt on my cheek and the back of my head. Stars danced across my vision for a moment before I felt Pansy's grip loosen and new voices filled the small room. The pain deflated my anger so quickly that for a moment, I felt nothing. Then the pain returned, made stronger by the fact that in that moment, when anger nearly consumed me, I had wanted to do the very thing that made my father pure evil.

"Back off, Potter," Pansy was saying, even as she backed to the door leading back to the lower levels of the castle. "This doesn't concern you."

Harry, Ron and Hermione had now joined us, having just descended the staircase. Ron and Hermione were helping Neville and Natalie to their feet while Harry had his wand out and pointed at Pansy. Before the situation could turn against her, Pansy shot a deadly glare at me before dashing out of the room.

"Are you alright?" Hermione asked me, her gaze on my cheek where I could feel a bruise forming.

I nodded, "Thanks, Harry."

"You're welcome," He stowed his wand away before asking, "What was that all about?"

Hesitating for a moment, it was Natalie who answered, "That little bugger thinks she owns my cousin. Now that Nicole is becoming friends with him, just like I've always said she should, Pansy gets her panties in a bunch and has to throw her weight around. I should march right down there and give her a taste of-"

"No!" I insisted, "It's ok. Just forget about it. I don't want to make the situation worse. Of course the Slytherins are going to give us a harder time now that Draco is associating with us, but they'll just have to get over it."

Natalie mumbled a few choice words as we all trooped back to the Gryffindor Tower. Harry and Ron offered their assistance in any future altercation between the Slytherins despite my insistence that I would be ok. Whatever Pansy had coming my way now, I had to remain calm and not give in to the anger that almost exploded out of me tonight. I could _not_ be like my father.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter.**

**Chapter Nine**

The next morning, I covered the nicely purpling bruise on my cheek with make-up, took a deep calming breath and headed down to the dungeons for Potions. Natalie had already gone down to breakfast with Fred and George but I had lagged behind to catch a bit more sleep before starting my day. I hadn't slept well that night, being plagued with dreams of my father. Once during the night, I had woken to burning pain radiating from the mark on my arm. The Dark Mark had grinned up at me through the dark dormitory, a terrible reminder of all my fears, my worries, my darkest secret that now seemed to be hovering over me like a bad omen.

As I now walked down to the dungeons, passed my fellow students, all I could think about was how different I was from them. After that burst of anger, I felt like it was still there, just under the surface, an ugly piece of me that was like my father. What if I couldn't control it? What if that part grew to consume me and snuff out all the happy, cheerful pieces of my being?

Involved in my own thoughts, I didn't realize I had made it to the dungeons where a pack of students crowded the corridor, waiting for Snape to appear and allow us access to the classroom. For a moment, I hesitated at the edge of the crowd, the previous night weighing down on me.

"Nicole," I heard his rich voice behind me a second before he appeared at my side. I raised my eyes to meet his and found that when I looked up into his greeting smile, I instantly relaxed.

"Morning, Draco," I was surprised to hear my voice so happy and light but was grateful for it. Being around Draco drove all the fears, worries, even weariness and lack of sleep to the far recesses of my mind.

"I didn't see you at breakfast," he began but stopped suddenly as his eyes drifted to my cheek. "What happened?"

I had done the best I could but apparently the slightly swollen bruise was still obvious. I self-consciously tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and bit my lip, "Nothing, it's just a little bump."

Luckily, Snape choose this moment to appear so I hurried forward to join the rush of students entering the class. Without thought to where I was heading, I chose a seat in the middle of the room. Natalie took the seat beside me; her cheeks flushed no doubt from having to rush to class from a make-out session with Fred. To my horror, Pansy and one of her friends took the seats across the aisle from us. She shot a dark smirk at me before turning her attention to Professor Snape at the front of the room. Draco took the seat in front of her, beside Goyle.

"Today," Snape's dreary voice rang out, instantly silencing any chatter. "We are going to be brewing a simple potion that even Potter should be able to manage." He paused for a moment to allow the Slytherins a laugh, "The Vanishing Potion will allow it's user to blend in completely with its surroundings. If made incorrectly, it could permanently render the user insane." A smirk tugged at his lips, "Begin."

A rustle of movement broke out around the room as we all began gathering ingredients and pulling out books. I kept my eyes on my potion, firmly avoiding any eye contact with Pansy.

"Are you ok?" Natalie whispered over our cauldrons as they began to heat up.

"Fine," I mumbled as I began chopping fresh roots to add to the mix when it began to boil. "I just don't want to give Pansy any reason to start another fight."

"Don't worry about her," Natalie shrugged as she dumped a handful of frog eyes into her cauldron instead of counting out the proper amount. "If she gives you any flack, I'll put a hex on her. If she still gives you a hard time after that, I'll tell Draco and he'll put her in her place. She'll be so upset," Natalie grinned, the thought of Pansy suffering a broken heart warming her heart even more than the boiling potions.

The ugly piece of me reared its head again and pleasure filled me at the image of Pansy curled up in Myrtle's bathroom sobbing after being kicked to the curb by Draco. Horrified at my dark thoughts, I purposely smashed my thumb with my knife blade instead of the Mandrake seed.

"No," I hissed out at Natalie, shaking my hand in the air. "I don't want Draco to know. Pansy will get over it once she realizes that she doesn't scare me."

Natalie's look couldn't have been more skeptical, "Please, she doesn't give up that easily."

"I don't care," I replied, "she's not going to keep me from being friends with Draco."

"I don't know if I should be glad you've taken so well to Draco, or worried about your sudden obsession over him." Natalie grinned.

A burst of laughter broke out across the aisle, causing Natalie and I to glance over at Pansy and her friend. We weren't the only ones. All the Gryffindors were cocking their eye brows across the room and even several Slytherins were glancing over their cauldrons curiously. Pansy shot me a nasty smirk before turning to her friend in a fresh wave of giggles.

With a roll of my eyes, I turned back to my cauldron. And froze.

Instead of being full of simmering liquid, snakes filled the bowl. Writhing, slimy snakes. Fear rose up and clogged my throat before a scream could escape. My palms were suddenly sweaty, even though I had gone cold. I had been getting ready to drop another ingredient into the mix but my hand now hung in the air over the cauldron, frozen by the fear.

Natalie noticed I had gone still and deathly white. Worried, she reached out and touched my arm, "Nicole?"

Her touch jerked me back into action. I dropped my ingredients, jumped back, bumping into the desk behind me and let lose the scream that had been lodged in my throat. Everyone instantly turned their attention to me as Snape hurried over. With a single glance and a flick of his wand, he emptied the cauldron.

I was shaking and sweating, still backing up though the desk was in my way, trying to get as far from the snakes. Natalie hurried to reassure me that they were gone. All eyes were on me as Snape's cool voice broke the silence, "Really, Miss Saunders, they're just snakes."

Pansy and several of the Slytherins laughed. I dropped my head, embarrassment quickly bringing color back to my face. Still shaking, I practically fell back into my chair. Natalie watched me closely the remaining few minutes of class, ignoring her potion that would only get minimal marks anyway. I was still shaking, adrenaline rushing though my veins but my only thought was to get back at Pansy. I could clearly picture her afflicted with a nasty case of the Bat Boggy Hex or the Jelly Legs Jinx. Suddenly, I could see her in my mind's eye, screaming as the pain of the Cruciatus Curse ripped through her. The mark on my arm seared with pain and I gasped, clenching my fist and digging my nails into my palm. I had to distract myself, I couldn't let these thoughts continue.

As soon as the bell rang, I shot out of my seat and dashed out of the classroom. I could hear Natalie and Draco calling after me but they didn't catch up until I slowed in the Entrance Hall.

"Nicole," Draco seized my wrist and gently turned me to face him and Natalie. "Are you ok?"

Natalie wasn't so much worried as mad, "I swear, that Parkinson is going to get it. I'm going to hex her all the way to Christmas." She began waving her arms incredulously, "Last night, now today, she better watch her back!"

Draco looked confused, "Last night? What happened last night?" He glanced from me to Natalie.

I groaned. Perfect. "It was nothing," I insisted.

"It wasn't nothing!" Natalie's temper was rising with her voice, "How do you think she got that humongous bruise?"

"What!" Draco turned to me, wanting answers.

"It's not humongous!" I gasped, bringing a hand up to block my cheek.

"Pansy threatened her, Draco," Natalie huffed. "She got her panties in a bunch over the fact that you like Nicole, not her. So the little bugger waited for us to leave class and jumped us! Telling Nicole to back off or else. Then she punched her! Nicole's lucky she didn't get a concussion when her head bounced off the wall."

Draco's eyes widened and he gaped down at me, "Head bounced off the wall?" I covered my face with my hands and shook my head; the situation was exploding around me.

After a moment, Draco softly cupped my cheek and raised my gaze, "Are you sure you're ok?" His voice was low and calm though his eyes were speaking volumes about how he was feeling: angry.

Slowly, I nodded. What was he going to do now? Would he side with us, his cousin and her best friend? Or would he forget about us and rejoin his cronies? I wanted to ask but he cut me off.

"Ok," he said, "Go to class, I'll see you at dinner."

With that, he leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead. It was soft and tender and I barely felt it before he turned and disappeared into the crowd of students.

Natalie stood beside me, watching Draco's retreating back. "Geez, Nicole, he must really have a thing for you."


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter.**

**Chapter Ten**

_Draco_

_I never expected to feel this way about Nicole. I had always seen her hanging around with my cousin and those two Weasleys, but I hadn't put much thought to her. Much. You'd have to be blind not to see how she just radiated with that happy personality of hers. Her long black hair flowed like water around her, so smooth and light. She had this grace about her and a way that she carried herself that made it seem as though she just glided through a room. But she was a Gryffindor and I was Slytherin. So, when I had to play nice and make friends with her, I was surprised to find she was easy to get along with. I found I had fun around her; I didn't have to make myself seem bigger than I was, I wasn't trying to impress her. Well, at first I was, but then I lost myself to the growing friendship and forgot about trying to get on her good side._

_And she trusted me so easily. Every time she saw me, a joyous smile would grace her lips and her eyes would sparkle. I loved that smile, though at the same time, I felt a pang of guilt every time I saw it that I had to quickly push aside. I wouldn't worry about that now, I would just enjoy the moment while I had it. _

_Then Pansy had to go and stick her big nose in it. When I heard what she had done, that she hurt Nicole and that stunt she pulled in Potions class, knowing that Nicole was terrified of snakes, I had to put a stop to it. I wanted to play dirty, put a hex on her just like Natalie threatened she would do but I knew that wouldn't work. Pansy would just keep at it._

_So I did the only thing I could do that would insure the rest of the Slytherins left Nicole alone but also allow me to continue my friendship: I told them the truth._

_During break, I motioned for Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy and the others to follow me out to the courtyard. When we were all gathered and I checked to make sure there was no one else around, I addressed them._

"_What do you think you're doing, pulling a stunt like that?" I pulled out my most authoritative voice as I turned to Pansy, though the anger lining the question was real. "You're going to mess up everything."_

_Pansy flushed and looked at the ground, "I'm sorry, Draco, but she's a Gryffindor. I don't see why you have a sudden interest in her; she's nothing special, just a blood traitor like her Weasley friends."_

_I clenched my fists, anger barely restrained at the insult that I myself had used before, just not at Nicole, "Don't call her that."_

_Looking hurt, Pansy kept her eyes down and crossed her arms. Several of the others began mumbling and whispering to each other. Glaring around at them all, I broke into their theories, "Don't you get it? I'm not doing this because I want to, I'm doing it because I have to. Nicole is just a means to an end."_

_Confused, they all glanced at each other before turning to me, "What end?"_

_I glanced around for effect, but also to make sure no one listening in, "I can't give the details, but the Dark Lord himself asked me to befriend her. It's imperative that I get close to her and draw her away from Potter and the Weasleys."_

"_Why her?" Pansy sneered._

"_I'm not stupid enough to question the Dark Lord's motives," I shot back. "All I know is that I have orders to befriend her, get her to trust me, then deliver her to Him." Ok, so I only told them part of the truth. No way was I going to trust a couple of thick heads like Crabbe and Goyle with Nicole's secret. The one I was sure not even Natalie knew. The one that would turn the whole school against her and even the whole wizarding world if word got out. I may let them in on the mission from the Dark Lord, but the reason he wanted her, his daughter, to join him, would go to the grave with me._

_Pansy eyed me suspiciously, "Really? He really wants her?"_

"_Yes," I met her gaze then reached out a hand to stroke her cheek. It was an empty gesture, meant only to make her think I was still interested in her, that Nicole meant nothing to me. I hated myself for it. _

_Pansy seemed to relax, "Fine. I'll leave her alone. But when the Dark Lord is finished with her, I want a go. She'll regret the day she called me ugly."_

_I tried to plaster on a smile but it was more of a grimace. Thankfully, no one noticed as talk turned to rumors of the Dark Lord and what parents had been saying. They all accepted my mission and were happy to know I was still one of them. I however, felt terribly guilty. _

_The guilt continued to gnaw at me through the rest of classes and through dinner. I was careful not to look over at Nicole, focusing only on my friends and pretending to be enjoying their company. Truthfully, I wanted nothing more than to be by myself, away from everyone, away from my friends that I had to pretend to be like while I was around them, away from all the other students who saw me as exactly what I had made myself into, away from Natalie and her knowing that I wanted it all to be different. Away from Nicole, who was so damn trusting when I didn't deserve it. _

_I retreated early from dinner and made my way to the Prefect's bathroom and the fifth floor. Desperate to relax, I drew a bath, stripped and climbed in, letting the bubbles cover me as I sank low in the tub. For a long time, I just sat there, eyes closed, letting the warm water seep into my skin. Behind my eye lids, I saw the Dark Lord, sitting in the overstuffed arm chair before the fireplace in my father's house the night he came to see me. Natalie had left earlier that day to go to the Weasley's as she did every summer so I was alone with my father and his constant reminders that I had to be better, had to prove myself, had to make him proud to say I was his son even though I knew nothing I ever did would be enough._

_Then the Dark Lord had given me a mission and the look on my father's face was pure joy. He was proud to say I was his son that day, that the Dark Lord had chosen _his_ son to bring his daughter back to our side, to make her see that it was our side she needed to be on and our side that she belonged on._

_Then I saw Nicole as she had been that day in Diagon Alley. I learned when the Dark Lord came to see me that it had been him she had been with before ending up in the fireplace. Her eyes were wide and scared, just like they had been in Potions when Pansy transfigured her potion into serpents. Her clothes were dusty and the blue ribbon in her hair was splotched with soot. _

_Remembering that day, I felt a new emotion bubble within me. I didn't want to turn her over to her father. No, I _couldn't_. I had to protect her, find a way to keep her safe and out of the life of pain and suffering that her father would give her. Even if I got her to go with me to her father, she would never be like him, would never do the things he wanted her to and once he realized that, he would torture her, break her. I had to find a way to protect her. I would have to put the Dark Lord off, make him think things were going slower than expected, just buy time until I could think of a better plan._

_Determined, I emptied the tub and got dressed. I didn't realize how late it had gotten and found the corridors to be dark and deserted when I exited the bathroom. I was about to turn to go down the stairs to my common room, but I remembered Nicole's confession of sneaking up to the Astronomy Tower at night to clear her head. Figuring that chances were good that tonight would be one of those nights, I turned to make my way up to the Tower._

_The halls were quiet as I neared my destination and I considered myself lucky not to have run into Peeves on the way as I mounted the ladder that would take me to the top of the Tower. When I emerged, I could feel the cool night breeze ruffle my hair. I took a moment to breath in the fresh pine smell that carried over from the Forbidden Forest before I looked around. There was enough light cast by the stars and the moon that I could see fairly well. Nicole was seated on the edge of the balcony, her legs dangling over the side, her head tilted up to the twinkling stars._

_I stood there for a moment, not sure what to do next. I didn't want to scare her or have her think I was spying on her. _

"_You can sit down," Her soft voice floated back to me before I could make my decision._

_I stepped forward and sat beside her, dangling my legs over the edge. I could see her face now, the bruise on her cheek suddenly seemed much worse, darkened even more against the almost pale glow the stars cast on her skin. She looked tired, her eyes sad until she turned her head to me and her smile broke out across her face and reached her eyes._

"_What are you doing up here?" She asked._

_I answered with a question of my own, "How did you know it was me and not Filch coming to throw you in detention?"_

_With a small shrug, she grinned, "I didn't. I just took a guess, though I was hoping it would be you who sat down and not Filch."_

"_Good call," I nodded in agreement and smiled. "So, what's on your mind tonight?"_

_Turning back to look at the stars, she was silent for a moment before she replied, "With all the talk of O.W.L.S. this year, Hermione thinks we should get a head start on studying so we don't get behind. Harry and Ron are already behind, of course, and Fred and George don't really care about their N.E.W.T.S. so it's going to be a challenge concentrating on the exams at all."_

_I was surprised by her answer, expecting something more along the lines of what Pansy had done. It took me a moment to switch gears and come up with a reply, "I hadn't really given much thought to the exams. It seems like so far away."_

_She nodded, "I know. But I was looking through a pamphlet Madam Pomfrey gave me last year and it seems like we still have so much to cover before the exams and not enough time."_

"_Madam Pomfrey?" I shot her a quizzical look, "Why would Madam Pomfrey give you a pamphlet? She's not a teacher."_

_Nicole laughed softly, her laughter floating on the wind as it brushed my cheek. A chill ran down my spine that had nothing to do with temperature. "No, she's not a teacher, strictly speaking; but, if I pass the right O.W.L.S. she's going to start working with me next year. See, I want to be a Healer after I leave Hogwarts."_

"_A Healer?" She was just full of surprises, though the more I thought about it, the more it fit her. She was so unlike her father, more so than I had originally thought. "I think that's a great idea. You would be perfect for it."_

_Again, she chuckled, "How do you know? We've only been on friendly terms a short time."_

"_I know, but I feel like I've known you longer," I answered. I felt corny for saying it, but it was true. There was something about her that made it easy to be her friend, made it easy to feel comfortable and like you were the only person in the world and she cared about you. _

_Nicole grinned shyly, "I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you."_

_I smiled back, "You're welcome."_

_Silence fell between us. Not the awkward silence that often descended on the Slytherin common room when no one was talking, but a companionable silence. I turned my gaze to the stars winking down on us. The cool night air tickled my skin and I could smell a nice, soft fruit smell, like apricots. I closed my eyes and drank in the smell, knowing I had smelled it before, but not quite able to place it. Then it hit me: Nicole. When I had given her a kiss on the forehead earlier, this was how she smelled. _

"_How's your cheek?" I suddenly said, the memory of the kiss also reminding me of why it had come about._

"_Fine," She said simply with a tone that wasn't harsh but also didn't imply that she wanted to talk about the subject._

_I, however, pushed on, "I had a chat with Pansy. She won't be bothering you anymore, neither will any of the other Slytherins."_

_She turned and looked at me, the starlight glittering in her eyes, "You didn't have to do that."_

_Meeting her gaze, I disagreed, "Yes, I did. You're my friend now, too, and they need to get use to it. Things are changing," I paused, thinking of my decision in the bathroom just a little while before, "I'm changing. If they don't like it, tough; but that doesn't give them a free pass to bully you." _

_A blush rose in her cheeks and she smiled, "Thank you."_

_I wasn't sure how long we sat there talking after that, but it was a night I will never forget. I felt like I had finally found the real me, the Draco that could be himself and not worry about approval or acceptance. It felt like all the worries and cares were gone, leaving only me and Nicole and the stars. Looking into her eyes as I whispered good night, I knew that she felt the same way. _


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Eleven**

Several weeks later, just when I was beginning to think the dark, angry part of me was buried nice and deep and the mark on my arm has settled into peaceful silence, my temper flared again and I nearly lost control. Draco and I were in the library, writing up an essay for Potions when George slid into the chair beside me, a broad grin on his face.

Ignoring Draco as he always did when they both were around me, George whispered, "We just got some amazing results back from one of our experimental sweets. We might have even stumbled upon a terrific new idea that will completely blow the market!" His excitement was causing his voice to rise which earned him a glare from Madam Pince.

"Alright?" I replied, raising an eyebrow.

"It was terrific!" George continued in a rushed whisper, "Nigel blew up like a balloon and huge boils broke out across his skin. Fred thinks-"

"George," I interrupted him as was sometimes necessary when either of the twins got going on about the joke shop and its products, "Get to the point."

"Right," he blushed sheepishly. "Well, we could use a bit of your help. We would take him to Madam Pomfrey but she would ask a lot of awkward questions."

With a sigh, I began gathering up my books. This wasn't the first time I had been called upon to right some poor younger student who had agreed to test Fred and George's experiments. It was all this practice with cures and potions that got me interested in being a Healer so at the very least, I was grateful for the practice. Taking a cue from me, Draco also began gathering up his books. As we got up to leave, George paused and glared at Draco.

"Calm down," I rolled my eyes. "He's not going to steal your ideas or anything. Now, let's go."

Reluctantly, George let Draco follow as he led us out of the library, down the corridor, up several flights of stairs, through a tapestry to an empty classroom that hadn't been used in years. Outside, Peeves flew over head, water balloons ready to aim at anyone who came near. He almost launched one at us but when he saw it was George, he stopped and gave a ridiculous bow.

"Mister Weasley," his voice cackled, "I got a first year just a few minutes ago. You should have seen his face!"

George laughed, "Good one, Peeves. We should be done soon now that Nicole is here."

"Take your time," Peeves soared higher up as we passed underneath to enter the classroom. As Draco entered behind me, a solid splat broke through the air as Peeves launched a balloon at his back. Now soaking wet, Draco glared up a Peeves.

I shot George a disapproving look which he just returned with a grin. Looking passed him, I saw Fred and Natalie holding onto two pudgy legs attached to a very pudgy Nigel who was floating in the air. If they hadn't been holding onto him, he would have floated to the ceiling dozens of feet above and out of reach. I could see several boils on his face and hands.

"What did you give him?" Draco asked, gazing up at the younger boy.

"An experimental dose of our Fainting Figs," Fred replied.

"He was supposed to get light headed and pass out," Natalie added, "Though we weren't going for this light headed."

Draco joined in their laughter; even Nigel was laughing though I wasn't too sure it was laughter or sobs. Then Fred's words registered and anger instantly flared up inside me.

"You gave him Fainting Figs?" I demanded, my voice rising quickly along with my temper. "The ones I specifically told you were not safe enough to test yet? The ones I said didn't have a proper antidote and if we tried them could have any number of unforeseen consequences?"

George managed a sheepish grin while Fred only laughed harder. "Oh, come on, Nicole. Don't be such a buzz kill. You can fix him, right?"

Breathing heavily as my temper grew, I slammed my bag onto the desk nearest Nigel and began rummaging through it. Draco put a hand on my back, trying to get me to calm down, but I slapped it away. George also stepped forward to cool the situation, but I was only gaining more steam. The mark on my arm burned and the anger grew stronger within me.

"You do this to me every time," I practically shouted as I reached up and yanked Nigel down several feet. He was surprisingly light which made my sharp movements more harmful than I meant them to be. Nigel hit the floor and almost bounced back up, but George caught him. Fred and Natalie laughed which only fueled my anger. "You think it's funny!" I was really shouting now as I waved my wand over Nigel and pulled out several vials from my bag. "This is just like you! You ignore what I tell you and test these products on young, unsuspecting students and just assume I can fix up any mistakes you make!" I poured a vial of dittany down Nigel's throat before pulling out a tube of specially made ointment and spurting the cream onto his skin. "I told you! I told you again and again that your treats weren't ready that I couldn't quite get the antidote right. But you just had to it, didn't you?"

George and Draco took a step away from me, both shocked by my outburst. But now that I had gotten started, I couldn't stop myself. The Dark Mark was burning my arm, fueling my rage the hotter it became.

Lucky for poor Nigel, I had done what I could for him and he was beginning to deflate, though the boils looked just as harsh as before. As I shoved items back into my bag, I kept shouting, hardly even aware of what I was saying.

"Can't you take anything serious for just one minute?" I demanded, rounding on George. "Everything is a joke, all the time. You don't care about anything but the next big laugh! No matter what I say or do, you just do whatever the hell you want!" The last several months were now weighing down on me, all the fears and worries, the sleepless nights, the unease; everything I had kept bottled up and hidden from my friends. Suddenly, I found myself angry that they never notice I was struggling. George should have noticed, we'd always been close. But no, he hadn't noticed. And that hurt, which only made me even angrier.

Tears sprang into my eyes as I took a step closer to George, "You never even notice what's right in front of you. You can't even see anything unless it's worth laughing at. People's feelings mean nothing to you!"

I could see the surprise and the hurt in his eyes. It was that that made me pause. The mark was burning so strong, I wouldn't have been surprised to find it had burned a hole in my robes. My hand had flown to my wand at some point and for a moment, right before I paused, I was ready to through every hex and curse I knew at George.

Even though I was still burning with anger, I was now also afraid. It was happening; the dark side of me, the bit of me that I feared was like my father was showing its ugly head. I did the only thing I could, I turned tail and ran from the room before it could get any more of a hold on me and I hurt someone. Peeves lobed a water balloon after me but it missed and splattered the wall beside me. I could hear his laughter echoing behind me as I ran.

I flew passed students in the corridor, tears streaming down my face. The tears were a mix of pain from my arm, fear at what I was becoming, and shame for what I had just done. I would owe George so many apologies and even that wouldn't be enough to make up for what I did. As I ran, my anger fizzled down and the less anger I felt, the more I slowed. When I came to a stop, I found myself in front of the stone gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office.

Wonderstruck at the coincidence, I stood staring at the gargoyle. I could go to Dumbledore, tell him about it. But what could he do? He couldn't change what I was, I thought sadly.

Just as I was about to turn and walk away, the gargoyle moved and the headmaster stood there, staring down at me with a knowing look and a small, reassuring smile. "Ah, Miss Saunders, I'm so glad you're here. I wanted to have a word with you."

Reluctantly, I followed him up to his office. He offered me some sweets, which I declined, before motioning for me to have a seat. He didn't speak until he was seated behind his desk, his fingers interlaced before him. "I've been meaning to talk to you for some time now, though things have side tracked me a bit more than I would like. Your mother seems to be very worried about you, seems you had a rough patch after our meeting over the summer and you still seem to be struggling."

I squirmed in my chair. I had heard Harry talk about how much Dumbledore seemed to just know, but his insight was uncanny. The few times I had been around Dumbledore outside of school, my mother had been with me and he mostly talked with her.

"Is there anything you wish to talk about, my dear?" His tone was gentle and understanding, trusting.

With a deep breath, I looked down at my arm, still throbbing painfully. Slowly, I rolled up my sleeve and showed the horrible mark to Dumbledore, now the only person outside my immediate family to have seen it. "He gave it to me when I went shopping in Diagon Alley. He had one of the Death Eaters take me to him, but then he let me get away. I don't think he's given up on me though, he wants me on his side." My voice was barely a whisper as I finished.

Dumbledore nodded, gazing intently at the mark. He said nothing so I continued until I had told him everything up to what had just happened. He listened calmly until I finished then peeled his gaze from the mark to meet my gaze.

"My dear, you are not like your father at all," His voice was gentle and soothing. "You understand love and friendship so much deeper than he ever could. Where he would have cursed in anger, you walked away. It's our actions that dictate who we are Miss Saunders; how we act on our feelings, whether good or bad. Sometimes, we may need to learn to control ourselves, but you have shown an incredible amount of control already."

I dropped my gaze, still afraid that I was becoming my father but wanting to trust in Dumbledore's words. "What if next time I can't control it? What if I become like him?"

With a heavy sigh, Dumbledore replied, "It is entirely up to you if you become like him. You are the one in control, not him. I will give you some advice; however, and that is to trust in your friends. Love and be loved, that is your greatest weapon over your father."

Instead of heading for the common room when I left Dumbledore's office, I took a detour up to the Astronomy Tower. It was getting late and close to bedtime, so I didn't pass many students on the way which was fine with me. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. Dumbledore's advice had been good, but I just didn't know if I could do it. What if my friends hated me when they knew the truth about what I was? What if I couldn't control that dark part of me that seemed to be growing with every time my temper flared? Dumbledore said I had the choice, but what I was really afraid of, what I dreaded more than anything, was not being strong enough to make that choice.

When I got to the top of the tower and took my usual seat on the edge of the balcony, my feet dangling over the edge, I gave a heavy sigh. Looking out over the landscape, I could see over the Black Lake, passed Hagrid's hut and over the Forbidden Forest. The mountains rose around the castle and reached far higher than the towers. It was a sight I had grown to love. It was familiar, calming, and as I gazed upon it, I could feel the stress leaving as if it dripped out of the bottoms of my toes as they dangled in the air. When I sat up there, nothing else mattered. The world was simple, pure, beautiful.

The chilly autumn breeze picked up, forcing me to draw my robes tighter around me. I watched as the sun drooped lower and lower until night covered the castle and the stars made their appearance in the heavens. It was considerable colder then, but I wasn't ready to leave. I was silently cursing the school uniform and its skirts when I pulled my legs up to my chest, hugging them close after sliding back a few feet to lean against the wall as I gazed up at the stars.

Movement in the doorway leading down the tower caught my eye and I was almost afraid that Filch had finally caught me. I froze, waiting to see what he would do. I could just imagine the glee on his face when he wrote me up for a weeks' worth of detention. He would ramble on about the good old days when he could string kids up by their thumbs and listen to their screams.

But it wasn't Filch that stepped out, it was Draco. I let out a breath I had been holding as he silently sat beside me.

He was silent for a moment before he finally spoke, "It's a little chilly tonight."

Hugging my legs tighter, I nodded, "Winter will be here soon."

"Do you even come up here in the winter?" He asked, leaning his head back against the wall as he watched the sky.

Surprised though I was that he wasn't talking about what happened earlier, it was also a little annoying so I ignored his question and asked my own, "Aren't you going to say anything about earlier?"

Draco dropped his focus down to me and our eyes met, the starlight giving just enough light for us to see each other, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but shut it again. I did want to and from what Dumbledore told me, it would probably be a good idea to talk about it. And if anyone would be sympathetic toward me, it would be Draco. I opened my mouth again. Then shut it. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't admit that my father was Voldemort.

"You can trust me," Draco suddenly whispered through the cold night air.

It was those few words that made up my mind. "Everyone thinks that my father is a Muggle, that I'm half-blood. But that's not true," I kept my head down as I talked, staring at my knees drawn up to my chest. "My real father…walked out on my mum and me when I was a year old. He was a wizard, too, but not a very good one. I mean, he was good - talented, I suppose – but not a good man. He wanted to be great, powerful, but he was a cruel, cruel man. When he left, my mum met my step father and he adopted me. He's my real father, not-" I stopped myself before I gave away too much. I may not have been ready to admit that Voldemort was my father; but , I reasoned, there wasn't any need to bring it up if I just made it sound like my father was just an evil wizard.

I shivered as a particularly strong breeze blew around the tower. Draco slid closer to me, taking off his robe as he did so and covering us both with it. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to him, warming me instantly.

I smiled up at him in gratitude before continuing, "I don't know why it made me so angry when Nigel tested that sweet. I expected Fred and George to test it anyway, which is why I had those things in my bag, but then they did it and it was like," I paused, shaking my head as I tried to find the words, "I couldn't control myself."

I looked up into Draco's eyes, my brow furrowed with worry, "I said those horrible things."

"Everyone gets angry once in a while, Nicole," Draco replied, his voice soft and reassuring, "I'm sure they understand that."

"No," I shook my head, "This wasn't just angry, this was…this was like a part of me wanted to be mad, wanted to hurt them." The last words came out in barely a whisper. I dropped my head and in the same soft whisper added, "It was like I was becoming my father."

Draco gently lifted my chin until I met his gaze again. Even in the dark, I could clearly see the look on his face, the passion in his eyes. It was intense, determined and yet tender at the same time, protective, even. "You will never be your father."

Even though that was pretty much what Dumbledore had told me, hearing it from Draco made me believe it. Dropping my head to his chest, I curled up against him as he tightened his arms around me. I could feel and hear his heart beating against my cheek in a soothing, comforting rhythm. I felt safe sitting in his arms; safer than I had felt all summer long. The part of me that I feared was like my father now seemed like such a small, small part, it didn't even matter anymore. Draco made me feel safe, calm. I felt like me again.

My determination returned to me, just as it had over the summer when my mother told me not to let my father take my life away. I would fight him. I would not let him win and turn me into another one of his mindless Death Eaters.

"Will you stay with me?" I whispered, the question holding so much more weight than just for that night.

Draco's arms tightened around me and his answer strengthened my resolve to fight, "Always."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Twelve**

When I got back to the common room that night, I was surprised to find George, Fred, and Natalie all waiting up for me. Sheepishly, I dropped my bag and stood before them, "I'm so sorry. I had no right to say any of those things and I didn't mean any of it. I'm sorry."

George stood and pulled me into a hug, "No, you're right. We didn't listen to you even though we should have. And I have been a jerk. With you hanging around Malfoy, I - I mean, we - haven't been very good friends to you."

I returned the hug, feeling relieved and once again like I could be myself around my best friends. I might not be ready for them to know the truth, but I knew they would be there for me, no matter what. Fred and Natalie also stood and gave me a hug. Fred ruffled my hair and offered me a tasty treat to smooth things over.

"Yeah, right," I teased. "I know better than to accept anything from you guys. I don't want to end up like Nigel."

We all had a good laugh and Natalie reassured me that Nigel was doing just fine. We said our good nights and retreated to our various dormitories. Natalie stopped me on the stairs halfway to our dormitory.

"Seriously, Nicole, what's going on with you?" She asked, dropping all cheer and becoming serious best friend that would grill me until I spilled all.

I hesitated before answering, "It's just, with the Dark Lord returning, I feel like everything's changing. I guess I've just been so worried about it and now with Draco wanting to be friends with us, I'm just not sure what's going to happen next. It's like, we can't not be friends with him because what if his dad convinces him to join the Dark Lord? And then you still have to go back at the end of the year, what if something happens to you? What if he can't be stopped this time?"

Natalie considered my answer before wrapping me in a tight hug, "Nicole, you worry too much. It's not like we're alone in all of this. We have each other, our friends and families. And we all have the determination to stop him. He's not going to win, ever." She sounded so sure. Of course, I hadn't even told her the half of it. Would she have been so sure if I had told her the whole truth?

…

Now that winter was gracing the landscape with its presence, the first Hogsmead weekend was on the horizon and students were buzzing with excitement. One morning at breakfast, Fred and George were busy processing some orders for their various skiving snacks while Natalie and I were discussing the upcoming weekend.

Hermione suddenly plopped onto the bench next to us, her eyes darting around the hall as she whispered into my ear, "If you want to learn proper defense against the dark arts, meet at the Hog's Head at one o'clock on Saturday. Don't tell Draco." She hissed the last part before jumping up and running out of the hall.

"What's her deal?" Natalie asked as she munched on a muffin. Fred and George looked up curiously from their parchment.

I leaned in close and relayed what Hermione had said, leaving out the part about Draco. Defense against the dark arts was seriously lacking any educational consequence and it sounded like Hermione wanted to do something about it. "What do you think she means?" I asked, keeping my voice low.

Fred grinned, "She means Harry's going to teach us defensive magic. I heard her talking to some of the Hufflepuffs in the library the other day."

"Harry?" Natalie sounded a little too excited about the prospect of learning anything from Harry. She even smoothed a hand through her hair and glanced around to see if Harry was nearby.

George shot me a knowing smile - he also knew about Natalie's little secret crush on Harry - before adding, "Yeah. She reckons we can learn a right sight more from Harry than we are from Umbridge. Course, we could learn more from Neville than that hag."

We all sniggered and glanced up at the staff table where Professor Umbridge sipped her tea with that smug, superior smile. He was right; we weren't learning anything about how to defend ourselves. Harry had faced my father and unlike when I met him, Harry wasn't supposed to get away. He would know how to defend against dark magic. He would be able to teach me the skills needed to keep myself and others safe. The more I thought about it, the more excited I got about it. And Hermione was probably right, I shouldn't tell Draco. He may be turning over a new leaf, but there was a small part of me that wasn't sure. It came from the snickers and devious looks that I would get from the Slytherins. Pansy would watch Draco wave or talk to me, then she'd turn to her little friend and they would whisper and chuckle. Until I could trust Draco one hundred percent, he couldn't know.

"I'm going," I muttered to my friends. "We need to learn this stuff and who better than Harry to teach us."

The other three nodded their agreement. There really wasn't any question in any of our minds; we all believed Harry that the Dark Lord was back and we knew we had to prepare for the worst.

As it turned out, we had defense against the dark arts that day, speak of the devil. Umbridge was just as smug as always with her ministry-approved text and no wands policy. Just as always, we were not allowed to talk. Our reading assignment was on the board along with lines we were to copy to ensure maximum retention.

I was sitting in the back of the room, on the Gryffindor side, by the aisle. Natalie was next to me and across the aisle, on the Slytherin side, sat Draco. I was trying to concentrate on the reading, but it was dull and my eyes were soon glazing over. The words blurred on the page and the Ministry approved pictures weren't making any sense as they trapezed around, demonstrating the proper wand movements. I was about to slip off to sleep when my left arm suddenly erupted in pain. It was terrible, like thousands of needles being stuck in every pore along my arm where the Dark Mark marred my skin. I must have gasped, because Natalie shot me a questioning look. Tears were starting to fill my eyes as the pain intensified.

When I couldn't handle it anymore, I shot up out of my chair, all heads turning to look at me. Any disruption in Umbridge's class was sure to spell doom.

"P-professor," I stammered, trying to hold back the tears. "I don't feel good; I need to go to the Hospital Wing."

"I'm sorry, dear," Umbridge's sweet yet venomous voice replied. "But if you're using one of those Weasley candies to get out of my class, you are sorely mistaken. I will not allow you to go, only to slip some cure into your mouth when you leave so you can roam the halls and not have to do work. Please sit down."

My fist was clenched so hard, I could feel my nails digging into skin. I couldn't stop a tear from running down my face as the pain almost made me cry out, "P-please. I'm not faking. I didn't take any sweets, I swear."

Draco was watching me closely with concern filling his eyes, but he stayed in his seat. Even Natalie didn't move as all heads turned to Umbridge to see what she would do. Unfortunately, she pursued her lips and ordered, "Sit down, Miss Saunders."

But I couldn't. "I'm sorry," I mumbled as I turned and dashed from the room, Umbridge calling after me to come back and sit down and do my work. Ignoring her calls, I ran all out to Dumbledore's office. I didn't know why the Mark was hurting so bad and I reasoned that if anyone could either tell me what was going on, or make it stop, it was him.

When I reached the stone gargoyle, tears were running down my face. The pain was so intense, I couldn't even see straight and I felt the fringes of consciousness slipping away. Since I didn't know the password, I pleaded with the gargoyle to let me in or for Dumbledore to come out. I might have even pounded on its head to get it to move or do something, but it's hard to tell when you're in the middle of a freak out.

Finally, the gargoyle jumped aside and Dumbledore stood before me. He wasted no time in ushering me up to his office and depositing me into a chair. I was taking huge gulps of air and clutching my arm to my chest. For a moment, Dumbledore left my line of vision before reappearing, his clear blues eyes full of concern.

"W-why does it hurt?" I gasped.

Another face came into my line of vision, one I was not expecting. Snape. He calmly pulled my arm away from my chest and rolled up my sleeve. I was afraid to let him see the Mark, but couldn't struggle against the pain. When he saw it, he didn't seem surprised. He produced a jar of some kind of lotion and began rubbing it along my arm. As it seeped into my skin, the pain seemed to, not go away, but rather the skin seemed to go numb wherever the lotion touched.

After several minutes, I could no longer feel any pain. I swiped the tears from my face and took several calming deep breaths, trying to recompose myself and not look like such a dork anymore than I already had. Snape and Dumbledore stood over me, watching intently, waiting to see if I was better.

"Um," I cleared my throat so it wouldn't sound so shaky. "Thanks."

Snape barely nodded his head in acknowledgement. Dumbledore patted my head and replied, "To answer your question, that's what it feels like when Voldemort calls his followers."

"He was calling them all?" I asked.

"No," Dumbledore shook his head and with a quick glance at Snape, continued. "It seems he was only calling you. My guess would be that he didn't want you to forget that he's out there and trying to get you to join him."

I also glanced at Snape, "What am I supposed to do? He won't stop until I go to him. And if my arm hurts like that again, it's only a matter of time before someone finds out."

Snape handed me the jar of lotion. "Use this. It will numb the Mark so you can't feel the pain. But, I'm afraid," he turned his attention to Dumbledore. "We may need to consider other options, considering what I've told you."

Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a moment, "I think you're right, Severus. We may not have a choice."

I glanced from one to the other. Things were starting to get interesting, just when I didn't want them to. Dumbledore took a seat behind his desk and turned his gaze to me, "You have become friends with Draco Malfoy recently?"

This couldn't be good, I thought as I nodded, "Natalie is always saying how we should be friends with him, that he's not as stuck up as he seems."

"I tend to agree," Dumbledore replied. "Draco isn't a bad boy, he just desperately seeks after affection from those who won't give it to him. He certainly has been acting differently this year, which makes me wonder if this new friendship actually means something to him." He turned to Snape, who again only nodded slightly. "We cannot know for sure how he feels at this point, but I do think it would be best you know the circumstances. Perhaps you would be a better judge as to his motivations and standings than we."

That nasty feeling in my gut was coming back, telling me I wasn't going to like what I was about to hear. Still, I couldn't help but ask, "What do you mean?"

Dumbledore met my gaze, "It seems Voldemort, in his attempt to get to you, has enlisted the help of Mr. Malfoy. He has asked Draco to become your friend and draw you over to his side."

Hearing it aloud made my stomach turn. Of course I had wondered if that was the case, but I hadn't wanted it to be true. Could all of this really just be an act? Could Draco be playing me? I couldn't believe it; he seemed to understand me and had promised me…well, I wasn't sure, but I thought we had a genuine connection. Was he really that devious that he could fake that? Then again, even though he put up a front, his eyes always seemed to be telling the truth. When his face was being rude and snide, his eyes were begging someone to love and accept him, to not have to be alone anymore.

When I found my voice, I asked, "Do you think he'll do it? Do you think he'll turn me over to my father?"

Dumbledore glanced at Snape, who seemed reluctant to have to contribute to the conversation, "Draco may want his father's approval more than anything, but he has found in you something he's never had: a true friend." He looked sick just saying the words. I would have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious. "It is true that he's acted differently this year and his attitude has changed. I believe," He droned on, "That he does feel something toward you and to his cousin. That feeling could be what keeps him from turning on you." His words brought relief. Until he took a deep breath and continued, "However, the Dark Lord has also told him that if he doesn't deliver you, he will kill Draco."

"We can't let him do that!" I sprang out of my chair and began waving my arms around as I spoke, "Whether Draco will go through with it or not, I have to let him take me to my father. I can't let Voldemort kill him. It may be questionable as to Draco's feelings toward our friendship, but mine are clear. I care about him and I'm not going to let my father destroy him. I'll go to my father, make him think Draco did his job, whatever it takes to convince him Draco did his job. I could always slip out after, make a scene so he knows I'm not on his side but that it's not Draco's fault."

Dumbledore was holding up his hands but waited to speak when I had calmed down and plopped back into my seat, "I hope it does not come to that. Professor Snape and I will discuss this and figure out a plan. You need to focus on your studies. I think it would also be good to keep up the friendship with Draco. All the time you spend with him could help him decide the dark ways are not for him and he won't follow through with his assignment."

Focus on my studies, yeah right. If Dumbledore didn't come up with a plan to where both Draco and I came out alive and well, I would do what I had to to keep my friend safe. I would face my father.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Thirteen**

Learning defensive spells was now top priority so I was chomping at the bit to get to Hogsmead that weekend. Natalie and I worked out a plan to where we would tell Draco that we wanted to do some girl shopping, then slip away to the Hog's Head for the meeting before meeting back up with him at the Three Broomsticks. Fred and George had a laundry list of supplies they needed for their candies so they were going to meet us at the Hog's Head.

It was a chilly winter day, with snow thick on the ground but thankfully none falling from the skies. I slipped on a warm pair of jeans, a sweater, coat, gloves and hat before meeting Natalie in the Great Hall. She was bundled up as well, ready for a day hopping between the heat of the shops.

"We're just waiting for-" She began only to stop when she spotted Draco entering the Great Hall. With an enthusiastic wave, she motioned him over to our table. I grabbed a muffin and bit into it as we waited for him to reach us. When he was level with us, Natalie made a big show of feeling her pockets, "Oh, darn. I left something up in the Common Room. Why don't you two go on ahead and I'll meet up with you later?"

Without waiting for a response, she dashed out of the Hall. Pathetic. She was trying in a not-so-discrete way to give Draco and I time together, away from classes and school and teachers. She had no clue we were spending time together on the Astronomy Tower at least a couple nights each week.

"Ready to go then?" I asked, not only eager to get to the meeting later, but excited to spend some time in Hogsmead. I loved the little village and a trip there never failed to put a spring in my step. Draco nodded and I practically skipped out the doors. I was getting ready to start down the path that would take us to the village when Draco reached out and caught my hand.

I turned back, thinking that he wanted me to stop and wait for something, but he merely smiled down at me and pulled me along, our hands intertwined. Fake or not, my heart skipped a beat and a blush rose in my cheeks as I fell into step beside him.

"I'm glad we're friends," The statement was full of honesty and trust and I knew that Draco could feel it. In a way, I guess I was testing him, hoping that if he was planning on turning me over to my father, I would be able to see the fake in his eyes when he replied.

He looked down at me, smiled, and with eyes that spoke volumes about his feelings, he replied, "Me too."

That was good enough for me. With a huge grin plastered on my face, I spun around in a happy little dance move. Draco laughed. I hadn't heard his laugh very much and it was wonderful, floating through the air and tickling the snow around us. I danced along the path as we neared Hogsmead, enjoying his laughter. When we entered the village, I took his hand and did one finally spin, ending up wrapped in his arms. We stood there for a moment, gazing at each other. I can't really describe what I felt then, but I knew right then and there, that whatever was going on between us was real. This may not have been what Draco was expecting when he accepted this mission, but then, he wasn't the same anymore. I could see it in his eyes. He wouldn't hand me over to my father. Later, I would have to come up with some idea of what to do about it so that my father wouldn't kill him, but for now, we had each other.

…

_Draco_

_After what happened in Defense Against the Dark Arts, I was surprised that Nicole was so bubbly during our trip to Hogsmead. She never told me what was wrong, what had made her sick. Natalie and I had both gone to the hospital wing as soon as class was over, but Nicole hadn't been there. Natalie found her in the Common Room and she waved it off as being something that was easily cured by Madame Pomfrey. I wasn't so convinced. She had been grabbing her left arm. I knew what that meant. And judging by the letter I had gotten from my father the morning of the Hogsmead trip, I wasn't surprised that the Dark Lord was getting impatient. _

_The unread letter was in my pocket, burning a hole against my skin as I watched Nicole flounce away with Natalie, both giggling as they headed off to do their girl shopping. Whatever that meant. Nicole turned and waved to me over her shoulder, shooting me a cheerful smile before her and Natalie rushed off. I smiled back even though she was already gone. Whatever the letter said, I wasn't going to turn her over to the Dark Lord._

_I retreated to the warmth of the Three Broomsticks to read the letter and wait for Natalie and Nicole to return. Taking a booth near the back, facing the door so I could see when the girls arrived, I pulled the parchment from my pocket. My father's immaculate writing frowned up at me. Taking a deep breath, I opened the letter._

"_Draco," It read, starting out just as cheery as they always did. "I hope you are making progress. He is waiting, but growing impatient. I would hope that you can complete the task by Christmas. Perhaps she can ride the train home with you. Let us know how you are fairing. Father."_

_Christmas. That seemed too close. I would have to stall for time, perhaps tell them I was having trouble befriending her and that I might stay for Christmas in order to get more time with her. Hopefully, Nicole planned to stay at the school for the holiday. I'd have to ask when she got back. As I sat there thinking, I didn't notice when the doors opened and Natalie and Nicole entered. I was deep in thought, trying to come up with a plan to get around the Dark Lord and keep Nicole safe. _

"_Don't hurt yourself," Natalie's voice sniggered as she slid into the booth opposite me. Nicole slid in beside her, looking troubled. _

_I mentally shook myself and forced thoughts of the Dark Lord to the back of my mind. I found it strange that Nicole looked so troubled, while Natalie looked excited as if she knew some scandalous secret, "What's wrong?"_

_Natalie shot Nicole a sympathetic look, "She's just found out that she has to do detention with Umbridge tonight. She ran out of class so fast, I guess the crazy old bat didn't have time to assign it then."_

_I grimaced; since Umbridge began taking over the school with her Inquisitor position, everyone knew exactly what kind of detention she gave. Nicole rubbed the back of her hand at the prospect of what awaited her, "Maybe it's not so bad." She didn't sound so sure._

_Taking her hand in mine across the table, I gave her a comforting smile, "Maybe I can through a good hex her way and get detention with you, then it won't be so bad."_

_Nicole almost grinned at the thought of Umbridge being hexed, but shook her head, "I'll be ok. At least she hasn't taken Filch up on his offer to hang students by their thumbs."_

_We all grimaced at that. After a moment of silent contemplation, I figured now was a good a time as any to ask, "So, what are your plans for Christmas?" I tried to sound casual and turned my attention to my butterbeer, not wanting to raise any alarms with my question, even though I knew there was no way the girls knew about my mission from the Dark Lord._

_Natalie shrugged nonchalantly, "I'll stay here as always. Fred thought maybe we could go to the Burrow for Christmas, but he hasn't heard from his mum yet what the plans are. Were you going to come this time, Nicole? Since you skipped out on us over the summer."_

_Natalie gave Nicole a teasing shove to the shoulder and while Nicole grinned back, it didn't reach her eyes, "I don't know. I think I might just stay at the castle."_

"_Is your dad dragging your mum to France again, to visit his parents?" Natalie was looking down so she didn't see Nicole flinch at the mention of her father. I tried to pretend I didn't see it either, but the look on Nicole's face said she knew I had seen. _

"_Y-yeah," Nicole stammered, fidgeting slightly and blushing as she realized Natalie was talking about her Muggle father, not her real father. "They've been planning the trip for months."_

_Natalie nodded, "Then maybe you can come to the Burrow, too. Mrs. Weasley's always happy to see you." She gave Draco a conspirator wink, "She thinks Nicole keeps the twins in line."_

_The smile was real this time as Nicole turned to me, "What about you, Draco? Are you going home for Christmas?"_

"_No," I shrugged casually, "I thought it might be fun to stay this year. Most of the other Slytherins are leaving, so I'll get the whole dormitory to myself."_

_Natalie not-so-discreetly nudged Nicole with her elbow, "Oh, how nice! Both of you are staying! Maybe you could have Christmas together."_

_Normally, my cousin's blatant attempts to set me up with anyone would be annoying. With Nicole, I didn't mind, especially since this was the outcome I'd been hoping for. This would give me more time with her and buy time to figure out what to do about the Dark Lord. _

…

Draco's questions about Christmas had me worried. After the incident with the Mark and the revelation by Snape about Draco's assignment, I was nervous. I knew Draco wouldn't turn me over to my father, but I couldn't help but wonder if the Christmas question had come from being pressured by his and my father. If they were urging Draco to hurry, then we were running out of time to come up with a plan. Hopefully, staying at the castle would buy us some time and Draco was feeding them a bunch of hooey to keep them at bay for the time being.

I didn't have much time to think though as I entered Professor Umbridge's office that night after dinner. As always, the kittens lining her walls were watchful and creepy in their cute, frilly plate frames and Umbridge sat straight and proper in her desk. There was another desk seated in the corner and she motioned for me to have a seat.

My heart was already racing and my palms started sweating as I slid into the chair and looked down at the piece of parchment and the harmless looking quill. I knew the quill was far more harmful than it looked but I wasn't about to let Umbridge see me sweat. Harry had stopped me at dinner and warned me about what was to come, as if I hadn't heard the rumors. He said just keep writing, don't think about it and if you squirm, it only made it that much more enjoyable for Umbridge.

Trying to keep myself from squirming, I looked over at Umbridge, "What would you like me to write?"

A wicked smile spread across her toady face, "You will write 'I must obey my superiors.'" The tone in her voice told me she didn't just mean teachers.

Since she didn't tell me how many times, as Harry said she wouldn't, I didn't bother asking. I put my head down and began writing. As the message began scratching itself into my hand, I bit my lip and forced myself to keep writing. This woman and my father would make a great pair, I thought bitterly as I scratched the words in my own blood.

Halfway down the parchment, I began to realize that the pain in my hand, which was radiating up my arm was not the only cause of the pain. The Mark was throbbing, too. The more it throbbed, the more the pain in my hand faded to the background and I could feel the anger bubbling up inside of me. Who did this woman think she was punishing students like this? She had the same self-satisfying smirk as my father, enjoying my pain and punishment that according to her I deserved. Maybe she deserved to be punished. After all, I hadn't done anything wrong. I didn't want to be sick during her class. Ok, maybe I did, but I didn't make myself sick like she thought I did just to get out of class.

The anger was making the Mark burn now and I pushed the quill hard into the parchment, making the letter I was writing stab hard into my hand. I couldn't help but gasp as the pain overshadowed the burn of the Mark and my anger instantly diminished. Umbridge glanced over at me, a smug grin on her face. I ignored her, using the pain to forget my anger and calm myself so that I could continue.

After that, it was a constant struggle to keep the anger away and focus on the task. I had to write harder and harder to get the pain to override the anger so that I would stay in control. I feared if I didn't, the anger would take control and I would do something stupid that would make my father proud. I couldn't have been more relieved when Umbridge stood and came to my side to examine the writing on my hand.

"Very well, dear," She seemed satisfied. "That is enough for tonight. I expect you to return, same time tomorrow."

I flew out of my chair, out the door, down the stairs and out into the corridor where I stopped to take several deep, calming breaths. My hand was red and fierce, the words glaring up at me. I couldn't help but wonder if my father would approve of the words. Would he see me as his subordinate, expecting me to obey his every whim? Duh, I thunked my palm to my forehead, of course he did. Which was why I wasn't going to give in just as I was now secretly fighting Umbridge by attending Dumbledore's Army.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fourteen **

I found myself once again at the top of the Astronomy tower. The night was cold and the wind icy pin pricks against my skin but I couldn't help but admire the white, glittering landscape that surrounded the castle. Snow always made the world look magical in a way that extended far beyond what Hogwarts taught. This was a magic unaffected by trivial matters such as Voldemort and Umbridge.

Absentmindedly, I rubbed the back of my hand which was now just a tender scar after all the nights of detention. My thoughts were turned to the Weasley's who had left a few days early for Christmas break. I didn't know the details, but according to Hermione, Mr. Weasley had been attacked while on assignment for the Order. Fred, George and Natalie had gotten me up to speed at the beginning of the term as to what the Order was and what they were doing. The Order was guarding something, some kind of weapon that the Voldemort wanted to use. From what Hermione guessed, Mr. Weasley was attacked while on guard duty.

It was now officially Christmas break so all the other students were gone. Hermione had gone to be with Harry and the Weasleys. Natalie and I both stayed. Natalie thought the family would like some time with each other without extra kids; I on the other hand, didn't think I could face Mr. Weasley, knowing that it was my father that had put him in the hospital. My dreams were once again filled with serpents and the dark figure of my father looming over me, waiting like a bird of prey to swoop down and pluck me up in his clutches.

It was now more important than ever that I figure out a plan. The more I thought, the more I came back to the most crazy, stupid, foolish plan ever. I could let Draco take me to my father. I really didn't want to drag Draco along, but I knew if I were to go alone, Voldemort would kill Draco for not fulfilling his mission. No, if I was going to turn myself over to my father, Draco would have to be involved. It was the only way to save him. Once I got to my father, I didn't know what would happen. I suspected he already knew that I had no interest in joining him, but he was still pursuing me. Why? He didn't strike me as the type to put so much effort into a hopeless cause. He would get more out of it if he just tortured and killed me. Then again, maybe that was his plan: get Draco to trick me into coming with him, torture me, kill me. No wasted effort.

No matter how hard or long I thought about it, I couldn't think of any other way to make sure Voldemort didn't kill Draco. Frustrated, I bonked my head on the wall behind me.

"There's no need to give yourself brain damage," A light teasing voice broke through my thoughts.

I turned my head to find Draco taking a seat beside me. He stretched his legs out in front of him as he leaned against the wall, "I figured I'd find you up here." Reaching over, he picked up my left hand. I was afraid for a second he would push my sleeve back and reveal the Dark Mark, but he only pushed the sleeve up to my wrist, exposing the words etched into my skin. His thumb gently rubbed my hand, his brow crinkled in concern. "That woman is crazy."

"Then why did you join the Inquisitorial Squad?" I teased, not pulling my hand away, even though I still feared he would discover the Mark.

Draco shrugged, "My father wanted me to. He said it would be best to stay on Umbridge's good side. Plus, I figured on the Squad, I could keep Filch distracted enough to not figure out what you Griffindors are doing."

I blushed slightly, though I hoped he couldn't see it in the dim light of the stars, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," He said softly. "I may not know what it is you're up to, but I figured it would be a lot easier on you if she didn't find out." He glanced down at my hand still held in his, "After all, you don't deserve any more punishment."

At first, I felt guilty about not telling Draco what we were doing but he seemed to understand that since it involved the rest of the Gryffindors and even some Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, that no one would like me telling him. Natalie and I may trust him, but no one else was convinced. When I tried to apologize for sneaking around, he merely shrugged and said it was his own fault; no one trusted him because he'd made it that way. And anyway, his being on the Squad gave us the added advantage of having someone to sabotage Filch's plans to catch us.

"Since it's Christmas Eve, why don't you sleep in the Gryffindor common room with Natalie and I?" I asked suddenly. "We could all have Christmas in the morning, together."

Draco looked unsure, "Won't it be weird to have a Slytherin in the Gryffindor common room? No one else in your house even likes me."

I waved my hand dismissively, "It doesn't matter, everyone is gone on break. The only ones that stayed are Natalie and me and a few first years. Trust me, they won't say anything even if they bothered to come out of their dormitories. Besides, I think Natalie would like spending the holiday with you. You're the only one she considers family."

He thought about it for a moment before nodding his consent, "Alright. I suppose it wouldn't hurt."

A huge grin broke across my face and I leaped from my seat, grabbing Draco's hand as I did and pulling him up too. We raced down the stairs and through the corridors until we came to stand before the Fat Lady.

"Mistletoe," I declared to the Fat Lady.

She eyed Draco wearily, "He's not a Gryffindor."

I put on my best pleading look, "Please, just this once. Natalie's his cousin and he just wants one Christmas with her. No one has to know, please."

With a heavy sigh, the Fat Lady nodded, "Alright, but in the morning, I'm changing the password. Not a word of this to anyone, young lady."

I smiled gratefully and pulled Draco into the common room. Natalie was lounging on one of the chairs near the fire; there was no sign of any of the first years that had opted to stay at the castle. Looking up from her book, Natalie's eyes widened in surprise, "Draco?"

"He's going to sleep here with us so we can all have Christmas in the morning," I informed her.

Her eyes lit up and she sprang off the couch, "Really? Oh, this is great! We can have a nice, enjoyable Christmas together without your dad looming over us. Nicole, get some blankets and pillows from our dormitory, I'll get snacks." With that, she dashed out through the portrait.

I grinned up at Draco, "She's excited."

"No kidding," He returned the grin. Blinking, he took a moment to take in the common room. The fire was crackling warmly and off to the side, a large Christmas tree was lit with small glowing globes, tinsel draped from its limbs. There was a couch and two chairs in front of the fire where we decided we would all sleep that night. Draco offered me the couch, but I preferred the overstuffed chair. I left him alone for a moment to rush up the dormitory and fetch some pillows and blankets.

I had just gotten back down and tossed the pile onto the couch when the portrait swung open and Natalie bustled in, her arms laden with snacks of all sorts. "The house elves were more than happy to see me. I think they miss Fred and George when their gone; no one else ever goes down to the kitchens."

"You went to the kitchens?" Draco laughed.

Natalie gave a mischievous grin, "Of course. I got some pumpkin juice, a variety of pastries. You should have seen all the pastries they had; I don't think there was one inch of that kitchen that wasn't covered in food. They're outdoing themselves this year with the Christmas feast."

We all dug into the snacks and were soon laughing and enjoying the warmth of the fire. It was far past midnight by the time we fell asleep. Natalie was sprawled over the couch, an arm tossed over the side, a leg sticking out from under her blanket. I curled my legs up under me and rested my head in the crock of the chair. Across from me, I could see Draco's eyes, dark in the firelight, watching me. He smiled at me and feeling warm and happy, I slipped off to sleep.

"Nicole! Nicole, wake up!" Natalie's shriek of excitement pulled me out of deep sleep. With a groan, I peeked open an eye and found Natalie's face just inches from mine. "It's Christmas!"

Natalie sprang up as I stretched and ran a hand through my hair. In her excitement, she practically pounced on Draco as she tried to rouse him from sleep. "Draco! It's Christmas! Wake up."

It only took a few minutes for the fog in my sleepy brain to clear and my eyes to widen in excitement. Three piles of presents were stacked underneath the tree and we weren't all that surprised to find one of them belonged to Draco. As soon as Draco's eyes were open, Natalie took charge, standing before us with an authoritative stance.

"We'll start with the youngest, then each take turns opening a present," She declared. "That means I get to go first," She grinned and twirled to face the pile of presents that belonged to her. As she selected which gift to open first, Draco stood and came to sit perched on the arm of my chair. He smiled down at me, cupped my cheek in his hand and whispered a Happy Christmas. I held his hand as we watched Natalie demolish the wrappings of her first gift. She proudly presented a knitted scarf from Mrs. Weasley.

"You're turn, Nicole." She tossed me a nicely wrapped package that I already knew would be from Mrs. Weasley. Even though we always got a knitted scarf from her, it always made me feel good to wear the soft, brightly colored gift. The Weasley's always made sure we felt like part of the family, even when we weren't with them for the holidays.

Natalie and I each got a Skiving Snack Box from Fred and George (Natalie's came with a note from Fred saying he had something better for her when they got back), and a tin of cookies sent by my mum. Draco got an assortment of sweets from his parents and a broom polishing kit from Natalie. Feeling slightly embarrassed with Natalie watching, I slid my present for Draco into his hands and glanced at the floor as he opened it.

When the paper fell away, there was a brightly shining star encased in a small vial. Natalie graciously excused herself to the loo to give us a moment alone. Draco watched the star curiously, it's light twinkling just as the stars in the sky.

"I-I hope it's not too cheesy," I stammered. "This way, you can always have a piece of the time we spend together on the Astronomy Tower with you." I blushed as bright red as the wrapping paper.

"It's beautiful," Draco met my gaze, his eyes sincere. "It's the best piece of magic I've ever seen." He pulled me to him and hugged me close, placing a tender kiss lightly on my lips. "Your father could never produce something so pure, so beautiful."

I knew Draco knew who my father really was, so the words touched me in a way that made my eyes water and my throat close. Before I could respond, he pulled away and held up a small box with an emerald ribbon tied around it. Without a word, I took the box and slid the ribbon off. Before I opened the box, I tied the ribbon in my hair like a head band. Draco smiled and ran a hand through my hair, "I love it when you wear a ribbon in your hair."

With a smile of pleasure, I turned back to the box and carefully opened the lid. Inside, a delicate bracelet gleamed up at me. It was silver, with small, sparkling charms around it. At first, I thought they were snowflakes, but with a laugh, I realized they were stars. "I guess you weren't the only one thinking of the Astronomy Tower," Draco chuckled as he lifted the bracelet out of the box and helped me put it on.

"Thank you," I hugged him and had just enough time to plant a brief kiss on his lips before the portrait swung open and Natalie stuck her head in. Seemingly satisfied that it was ok for her to return, she sauntered in and picked up the last box under the tree.

It was a small, darkly wrapped package with a green ribbon tied around it. Unlike the ribbon from Draco's present, this green seemed dark and menacing on the dark paper. Cocking an eyebrow, Natalie glanced at the small tag tied in the ribbon, "It's for you, Nicole. It doesn't say who it's from."

My insides instantly went cold and the color drained from my face. I had a really bad feeling about who the box came from. Not wanting to alarm Natalie and Draco, I held out a shaky hand and took the box. The Mark on my arm gave a stir of acknowledgement as if it also knew who the box was from. My heart was racing and I took a deep calming breath as I removed the ribbon. I could feel Draco tense beside me and I knew he had guessed the same as I did; he knew the box was from my father. Natalie was clueless, so I silently pleaded that whatever was in the box wouldn't give away my secret as I lifted the lid.

A metallic looking snake sat cushioned on the soft velvet of the box. When I removed the lid, it slowly began uncoiling and with a gasp, I dropped the box. The snake fell to the floor and before I could lift my feet away from it, it slithered up my foot and wrapped itself around my ankle creating a coil-like anklet against my skin.

Natalie stared at the snake, utterly confused by the events. Draco looked horrified and even a little angry. Ignoring them, I brought my leg up to my chest and tried to pry the snake off. It was now cold and lifeless, it's body wrapped firmly around my ankle so I couldn't even move it in the slightest. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. Frustrated, I gave up on trying to get the snake off and stood, kicking out at the box the horrible gift had come in. It sailed across the room and smacked the wall. As it was soaring through the air, a small card fell from it.

Still unsure what to make of the situation, Natalie picked up the card. I didn't even try to stop her as she opened it and read, "'Hope to see you soon.' What does that mean? Do you know who it's from, Nicole?"

With a heavy sign and seeing no way to get out of it, I told Natalie the truth. At least, I told her the version of the truth I had told Draco, even though I knew he knew who my father really was, he didn't know that I knew. I still wasn't ready for Natalie to know that the Dark Lord was my real father.

"So, your real father is one of the Death Eaters?" Natalie asked slowly, processing the information. "And now that Voldemort is back, he's come back to get you and make you join forces with the Dark Lord just as he has?" That was pretty much true, I thought as I nodded. "Well, shoot, you're in the same boat as Draco then. No wonder you two get along so well."

I glanced over at Draco, who still seemed to be angry, his jaw clenched and his shoulders tense. He didn't seem to keen on joining the conversation, so I replied, "I guess that's true. I definitely understand the position he's in."

Suddenly, Draco shot off the couch, "It's not the same at all! You are nothing like your father! You could never be like him. I've always made myself into the kind of person I thought my father wanted me to be. I deserve what I have in life, but you don't deserve this. You've done everything you could to be exactly the opposite of what your father is!" As suddenly as he exploded, he hung his shoulders and gave a pained sigh. He raised his eyes to meet mine and I saw a desperation in his expression that made my heart ache, "You will never be like him and you can never join him."

For a second, I thought he would spill the beans and come clean about knowing who my father really was, but he fell silent. Wanting to reassure him without giving away that I knew his mission, I glanced between him and Natalie, the determination sparking in my eyes, "I won't join him. I've never wanted anything to do with him and this doesn't change anything."

Of course, I didn't tell Draco that even though I wouldn't join my father, I was planning on turning myself over to him so that he wouldn't kill Draco. We'd deal with that bridge when we came to it.


End file.
